Dilemma

Darlene's pov I leaned against the wooden door frame and took deep gasps of breath. I couldn't believe that it was happening again. I found him. My second chance mate and he was my madam's husband. Why did my life have to be so complicated? What I really needed was a few minutes to myself. When Her Grace Zelda told me about a second chance mate, it sounded alien to me. Yet, I knew that I should be positive at all times. So, despite my initial desire to die, I chose to live and become a better person. I tucked Arman in my heart and lived every day. The bitter-sweet memories of the little time we had together gave me little satisfaction. It stung me at the same time, though. Because those sweet recollections will soon be followed by the harrowing memories of the day he died. I swallowed a sob. Regardless of what had happened in the past, I wanted to do the right thing. I desired to make up for all of my past misdeeds and make a difference. That was the reason why I decided to use what I had learned as a housekeeper and pursue a career in this field. It was a respectful way of living when compared to what I used to do. But what in the world was I going to do when I found out that my second chance mate was my boss's husband? Ugh! My fate must be cursed. Perhaps it was the universe's way of punishing me for being such a w***e in the past. Well, I hated myself for being such a stupid slut. I didn't realise what an i***t I was until reality delivered a vicious blow to my face. And when that happened, I acknowledged it. I accepted that I was wrong and decided to trod on the part of redemption. Nevertheless, I guess that wasn't enough. Life had to smack me once again. I sighed. I believed it was my retribution. But when will my penalty be over? I sucked in a breath. The damp air of the pantry made my nose itch a little, but that was the least of my worries. I quickly wiped the sweat off my face and checked my attire before stepping outside. The cook had promised to attend to them for a couple of minutes, but I knew I should go out there before our madam threw a fit. It was my job to serve them dinner. Not his. Something frazzled my dragonet as I took timid steps towards the dining room. As soon as I entered, he looked at me, and my dragon let out a tremendous roar. Despite my heart thudding in my ribcage, I walked up to them, deliberately avoiding his piercing gaze. "Finally! Why in the world did you feel the need to look for a new tea set at that moment? We aren't having tea, for heaven's sake! You just want to find an excuse to evade your responsibilities," my boss spat out as soon as she saw me. I didn't respond. It was never a good idea to say anything to her. Her demeanour drastically eased as she turned towards the young man sitting in front of her, a sickly sweet smile curling on her painted lips. "I told you, this maid is good for nothing. She never does an adequate job. But at least the food was tolerable." I held my urge to roll my eyes back. Oh, she was so annoying. If I wasn't bound by a contract that lasted five years, I would have resigned already. How I wish that I hadn't signed that stupid contract. The thing was, I didn't realise what a nightmare working for her would be. I just accepted the job that promised the highest wage. She wiped her hands on a napkin and stood up from her seat. Was she done having food already? That was fast. "Let's not ruin the entire night, right, honey? Come, I'll show you our room." She grabbed his hand. I almost lost control of my dragon. She was pissed but I was able to restrain her. I peeked a glance at him as they walked past me. I realised that he too was stealing glances at me. I quickly looked away. I didn't want to be in trouble. Biting back my resentment towards her, I lowered my gaze. I never liked how she hurled insults at us, but at that moment, I loathed the fact that she was dragging my mate to her room. Still, I didn't move a muscle until they were gone. I was a little scared about making eye contact with him again. I was afraid that I might lose control over my dragon, who was trying to take control and run into his arms. Besides, did I have the right to say or do anything? She was her husband, and I was her maid. Her marriage might be an arrangement, but it was just speculation. While I cleaned up her room, I came across a contract, but I wasn't sure if it pertained to them or not. I had no defence against her. I didn't have a support system. No money—not even relatives or friends who would have my back. Realising that I was completely alone and helpless sank my spirit. I was never rich, but maybe my family wouldn't have disowned me if I had made better decisions in the past. Perhaps then I would have made some solid friendships I could rely on. I pursed my lips together. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have chosen to become a member of the royal harem. "Hey, are you okay, kid?" The cook interrupted my train of thought. I glanced at him and forced a smile. The older man's face was wrinkled in concern. "Yeah," I breathed out. He offered a supportive smile. "It's going to be fine, Darlene. Tossing insults at us is her hobby, isn't it? Don't take it to heart. At least the job pays well, yeah?" I nodded my head. "That's my brave girl. Now let's clean this place up, huh? I'll help clean the kitchen. I think you could use a little help tonight. You don't look too well," he said. I accepted his assistance. I think he assumed that the continuous affronts were taking a toll on me. If he knew what my real quandary was, he would most probably tell me to run and never return. I mean, none of us needed more reasons for our employer to toss slurs at us. Why, oh, why was I mated to her husband, of all the people? Staying mateless would have been better than that. After I was finished tidying up, I headed down to my room. The chef's assistance allowed me to complete my tasks sooner than I would have otherwise. I was, as usual, completely spent by the time I finally managed to wrap up my work. It was a toss-up as to which was more taxing on my energy levels. The never-ending workload, the little recognition of my achievements, and the constant derogatory comments we were subjected to daily. "Hello." An unfamiliar yet alleviating baritone voice made me stop on my steps before I could reach my destination. I just knew it was him, but why was he here? I slowly turned around to meet the most enchanting pair of eyes I had set my eyes on. Once again, my dragon let out a tremendous roar. She wanted her mate… But that was wrong… I shouldn't have frozen on the spot, but I did. I couldn't move a muscle as he sauntered over to me. A lopsided grin curled on his lips as he slid his hands into the pockets of his pants and stopped just a few inches away from me. I mentally rebuked myself for gawking at him. Although I knew I had to run away, my body wouldn't cooperate. I wanted to do the right thing. Why wouldn't my body obey? And what in the world was he doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be with his wife? He held his hand out. "Darlene, right? I am Stephen. Nice to meet you." I gulped. Shaking his hand would confirm that we were mates. We didn't need that. We didn't… Was there a medicine that could make me vanish? I thought to myself.