I tossed and turned for hours until I finally fell asleep, only to be awakened by dreams where I relived watching my family die. The terror of watching a wolf rip my mother's throat out pulled me from my sleep the last time. I gave up a bit ago and decided to tip toe downstairs and make some tea, hoping the warm liquid will help soothe me to a dreamless sleep.
I crack the front door as quietly as I can and sneak outside to the front porch, grabbing the flannel shirt I had been given earlier tonight and shrugging it on over the shorts and tank top Audrey had loaned me as I step outside into the crisp, night air. With the warm mug clutched tightly in my hands, I sit on the front porch steps and tilt my head back to look at the stars. It’s hard to believe that these are the same stars that I sat outside and looked at just last night with my oldest brother.
Taking a deep breath of the cool air, I realize that I can smell the Alpha and look down from the sky, finding him walking across the street towards me. “Couldn’t sleep?” he asks, stopping on the sidewalk in front of me.
“No,” I whisper, not trusting my voice. “Why are you up?”
He looks at me with a lopsided grin and I can’t help but notice how handsome he is. His golden blonde hair hangs near his eyes. His bright blue eyes are shining, but they look sad. “I haven’t been able to sleep well. Not since my dad was killed and I had to take over the pack.”
“I’m sorry,” I say to him, surprised at his words and I scoot over to the side of the steps, welcoming him to join me.
He takes a seat next to me and sighs. “It was a few months ago. Losing a parent is hard, but it is even more difficult when you suddenly become the Alpha of your pack well before you're ready.”
I nod, understanding what he means. I couldn’t imagine feeling all that I am right now and trying to lead a pack. It catches me off guard just how open he is being with me. “Would you like some tea? I can go make some for you.”
“That’s alright, Celeste. Thank you, though,” he says, shaking his head. “How is your shoulder feeling?”
“It’s a bit achey, but not as bad as it was. Thank you for helping him fix it.”
“Of course. I hate that we had to, but I’m glad your injuries weren’t worse. What were you thinking, shifting like that?”
“I didn’t have a choice,” I tell him, feeling embarrassed for some reason and staring down at my toes. “I wouldn’t have been able to outrun them in my human form. I was so scared.”
“I’m sure. You’re a very tough shewolf,” he says, looking up at the stars. “I don’t think you should leave here.”
I shake my head, trying to hold back tears. “They’ll come for me once Beta Daniel learns that I shifted like that. It’s not safe for your pack if I stay here.”
“You won’t ever truly be safe, Celeste,” He says and turns to look at me, a very serious look on his face. “Not until you’re mated and marked. You’re a female with the Alpha gene. Any children you have will be exceptionally strong.”
“I know. But I can’t put your pack in danger.”
“Why don’t you let me decide what we will do with my pack, and you just focus on taking care of yourself? Ralph is happy to let you stay here while you heal and then we can find housing and a job for you. It’s complicated because you shifted, so in the eyes of the kingdom you’re considered an adult, but you’re just so young.”
“I haven't even finished school and I don’t have any skills,” I tell him, looking down at the mug in my hands, too embarrassed to meet his eyes. “I was just raised to be a Luna, not a member of a pack. What if my mate isn’t even an Alpha?”
He smiles at me and laughs a little. “I’m sure you’re capable of more than you realize.”
I drink the last of my tea and shiver a little from the cool, night air on the skin of my exposed legs.
“You should try to get some sleep,” he tells me and stands, offering his hand to me to help me up. “Rest will help you heal more quickly.”
“I know. I just keep seeing them die everytime I close my eyes,” I say, feeling a little choked up. “I’ll never see them again, and that’s how I remember them.”
“Hey,” he says, taking my free hand in his. “It just happened. It won’t always feel like this. I promise.”
I can see the sincerity in his eyes and nod, understanding that he knows this from experience. He must have been there when his father was killed.
“Good night, Celeste,” he says with a shy smile that I return, feeling more safe than I have in the past 12 hours. “I hope that you’re able to get some sleep.”
“Good night, Alpha,” I say and turn, taking my hand from him and opening the door.
“It’s just David. I’m not your Alpha. Yet,” I hear as I close the door behind me.
—--
I wake to the sun on my face and look around, feeling confused as to why I’m in Audrey’s room. I sit up and examine the room, remembering exactly why I’m here and I feel my heart plummet in my chest. It wasn’t a dream. It really happened. I’m all alone.
I climb out of bed and crack the bedroom door, sneaking across the hall to the restroom. I sniff in the hall as I pass, realizing that it would seem that I’m alone. Taking advantage of the time alone and climb into the shower so the warm water can soothe my sore muscles and sigh. I use Audrey’s shampoo and wash my hair again, feeling a few small twigs that I missed getting out last night when I wasn't exactly calm. I can’t believe I sat out there talking to the Alpha with my hair like THIS.
After I feel clean and my hair finally seems to be free of debris, I dry off and make my way back to Audrey’s room, noticing the clothes that she had laid out for me and I lift them, a small giggle escaping me. I love these jeans and have been trying to convince her to loan them to me for months now. I wiggle into them and pull on the t-shirt, but she didn’t leave any shoes out. Whatever, I don’t really want to wear them anyways, so I make my way downstairs barefoot and find a note on the kitchen counter.
As I suspected, they’re at the packhouse for breakfast, and they were kind enough to leave directions there for me. I don’t have a jacket, so I pull on that same, borrowed flannel shirt from last night and I leave the house, beginning my walk there. It was dark last night and I was so upset that I didn’t really notice anything around me. It’s nice here, very quiet. The houses are far apart enough for privacy, but close enough for safety. They’re all cute, though the ones I’ve passed have seemed a bit older, with wrap-around porches and large trees out front offering shade. Audrey’s pack is larger than mine is… was. I pass a few people along the way who look at me and nod, but no one says anything to me. I’m sure word has spread that there’s a visitor, and obviously no details have been given based on the looks I’ve received.
I come upon the packhouse, a fairly large building made of stone. Surprisingly, it's not huge, and I push open the wooden front doors and find myself greeted by the smells of what seems to be a fairly large breakfast. I feel nervous as I look around the vast entryway and slowly walk down the hall towards the smell. I stop outside the door, my hand hovering over the handle, afraid to walk in. What if the pack is upset that I’m here? What if Beta Ralph tells me I need to leave? What if Alpha David changes his mind and tells me to leave? I stand there for what feels like an eternity with my hand just resting on the door knob.
Suddenly, the door opens and I’m greeted by the man who had found me at the border and gave me his shirt… the same shirt I’m still wearing.
“Good morning, kid,” he tells me with a smile, his brown, curly hair much neater than it was last night. “Celeste, right?”
“Yes, sir,” I tell him with a nod, looking down nervously. “Oh, I need to give this back to you.”
I take the shirt off and try to hand it back to him but he holds his hand out and shakes his head. “Nah, keep it. It’s getting cold out and you’ll need it.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, looking up at his brown eyes. He really does seem nice, especially for a pack warrior. They’re usually fairly scary, trained in the art of defense.
“Of course. It’s good to have you with us. The Alpha was hoping you’d make it for breakfast.”
He was? That seems odd. I nod at him and he holds his arm out, indicating for me to pass him and head in as he holds the door open for me.
I step in and look around. Their dining room isn’t as big as the one at my pack, but it’s nice. It has a really cozy feel to it, like you’re at home. My eyes land on Audrey who is sitting at a table with her family, the Alpha and a few people that I don’t think I’ve ever met.
“Over here,” she calls out to me with a smile and a wave. I smile at seeing a familiar, comforting face and I walk towards her as the Alpha stands, moving down a seat so I can sit between the two of them.
“You don’t have to move,” I say to him nervously.
“Nonsense,” he says with a smile, “It’s nothing. I was hoping you’d make it for breakfast. You need to eat so you can heal.”
I nod and take a seat, knowing that he’s right. The table is filled with all sorts of meats and eggs, towers of toast, but nothing really sounds good. In fact, the thought of something greasy seems repulsive.
“Perhaps some plain oatmeal,” Ms. Carolyn offers, scooping some into a bowl and pushing it towards me. “I had a hard time eating for a good week after my first shift. It’s much harder on us shewolves, for whatever reason.”
I nod and take the bowl from her, lifting a spoon to push the food around. It doesn’t look the most appetizing, but it doesn’t look repulsive. I lift the spoon to my mouth and take a timid bite. I try to look content as everyone at the table is staring at me and, thankfully, they are all content with that and look away. Slowly, I take a few more bites, knowing that I really DO need to eat, as much as I really don’t want to.
“Celeste, can you come to my office with me after you’re done?” Alpha David asks me and I nod slowly, instantly feeling nervous at his request.
“Yes, sir,” I whisper.
He smiles at me slightly and places his fork down, lifting his coffee to take a sip. “You’re not in any trouble, but I really do need you to tell me what happened last night. I know, it’s hard to talk about, but it’s necessary for us to form a plan.”
I nod, holding in the tears that are pricking my eyes at the mere thought of the events of yesterday.
“It will just be me,” he leans over and whispers to me. “I know it’s not easy, but there won't be an audience. It will just be us.”
I nod and place the spoon down, taking a deep breath. “I can't eat anymore. We can go whenever you’d like.”
Aksara