Chapter 1

Kathryn's Point of View You never realise how slowly time moves when you are on edge, 3 minutes feels like an eternity. I look at the clock again. How is there still 2 minutes left? My period has always been on time, so when I realized I was late a week I decided to take a test. But now waiting for it was making me feel extremely agitated. I wasn't sure what I wanted the test to show. I slowly exhale and look at my friend who smiles encouringly at me. "Just relax, Kat. You got this." I smile back. "Thank you for doing this with me, Ames." Amy nods and gives me a side hug. "Of course, that's what best friends are for." We sit in silence once again until the timer on Amy's phone goes off. We stare at each other big eyes. "The moment of truth. Are you ready?" She ask and I nervously swelling before taking a deep breath, walking over to the counter and picking up the pregnancy test. But I put it down again, immediately without even looking at it. "Well, what does it say?" Amy asks quietly and I shake my head. "I don't know. I didn't look. I am scared." "I know, but you have to look at the test. You have to know what the results are." Nodding I pick it up again. I take another deep breath before turning it over. There it is. Staring back at me. Two red lines. " Kat! What does it say? Don't do this to my. My nails can't take anymore nervous chewing." "It's positive.. I am having a baby." I say softly as I look at her, with tears in my eyes. "Oh, sweetie! How are you feeling?" "I honestly don't know if I should smile or cry." I say a little overwhelmed as Amy comes over, giving me hug. "Well I am super excited. Congratulations Kat. When are you going to tell Elijah?" "Oh god.. I don't know.. I'm not even sure how he is going to take this." "I am sure it will be fine. You guys have been together since high-school. You have talked about kids right?" "Yes, of course we've talked about it. But later, after we got married.. Not this early. What if he doesn't want me anymore? What if he doesn't want our baby?" I ask, nervously chewing on my bottom lip as my hands move down towards my still flat stomach. "Hey, no don't think like that. You guys love each other. You just have to tell him, and get it over with." Amy hugs me again. Nodding I hug her back. "You're right. Thank you. Maybe I should make a doctor's appointment, you know just to be sure. Sometimes these test give a false positive." "Yes, I think that's a good idea, make an appointment and just get conformation from a professional." "You"ll come with me right?" "Absolutely. No matter what happens you know I've always got your back. We will get through this together." "Thank you, Ames. Now let me call and make an appointment before I talk myself out of it." ‐---------------------------------------------------- The following day I couldn't sleep at all last night. I kept tossing and turning. Different scenarios of when I tell Elijah kept running through my mind all night. A part of me was hoping it was a false positive. That I was not pregnant. But another part of me was sure I was pregnant and wanted this. I got up exhausted but went on with my day, waiting for 3 o'clock to come. And now here I am back from my appointment, sitting in my car in front of my apartment holding on to the steering wheel tightly, contemplating my life's choices thus far and the decisions I needed to make for my future. No... Our future. The doctor's words keep ringing in my head on repeat. "Congratulations! You are having a baby." It wasn't a false positive. I am really pregnant. I wasn't sure if at 23 I am ready to be a mother. I have just started working at a school in town, and started taking control of my own life. But even if this is unexpected I know I am keeping this baby. I just hope Elijah will feel the same way and support me. Elijah and I have been together since I was 18. He's 2 years older than me, but we went to the same school. I've always had a small crush on him but he never really paid any attention to me. I transferred schools at the end of 10th grade and didn't see him again until the December break before I started 12th grade. He asked me for my number and we started talking and the rest was as they say, history. We recently started talking about moving in together, and we have talked about marriage and children but neither of us planned on having a baby right now but here we are. We didn't plan it but in 9 months we are having a baby. I lean forward, resting my forehead on my steering wheel, accidentally honking it and starting myself and the people walking by. I lay my head down again, carefully this time. I just need to breath and think. I have no idea how but I know need to tell him as soon as possible, he needs to know because I don't think I can do this alone. I will tell him tonight. Suddenly my phone started ringing, making me jerk my head up. I slowly lift up my phone and take a deep breath before I answer. "Hi!" I say, not even trying to sound happy. "Hi?! Is that all you can say? Are you at home? Are you okay? You didn't let me know if you got home okay." Amy accuses me and I sigh. "Yes. I know. Sorry. I'm here. Just sitting in my car contemplating. I still don't really know what to feel." "You need to tell him." "I know, but... What if he.. I can already see him reacting badly." "You're judging him before you have even spoken to hom." "I know it's just.. I know him... This is not part of his plan.. And I honestly don't know what to expect." "Stop over thinking this. I'm sure he'll be happy." "I don't know. I don't know if I can do this alone." "So what if he says no? What are you going to do? Abort the baby?" Her words send a shiver down my spine. Eventhough I am not sure about being a mom, the thought of disposing my pregnancy never even came to mind. I know this would change a lot of my plans and my entire life, but abortion was is definitely not an option. As the thought resolves in my head, i sit up, squaring my shoulders.Even if he doesn't want us, I am keeping my baby. It might be hard, but I can do this. "No. Of course not. I would never be able to live with myself if I did that. I have a good job. I can take care of myself. And if need be I will raise this baby on my own. I'm sure if I can take care of myself I can take care of a baby." "There you go! I know you can do this, I just wanted to hear you say it yourself. And you know if you ever need anything, I will always be here for you. I am just one phone call away." "Thank you Amy. I don't know what I would do without you." "Of course sweetie, and you will never need to wonder! Now, go call him, and tell him the great news." "No. He is coming over tonight. I will wait and tell him then. I think it would be better to have this conversation face to face. This is not something he should find out over the phone. Besides, it gives me a little more time to think about how I am going to tell him." "It is your choice. Just the sooner the better. Don't wait too long. Tell him as soon as he gets there. Just rip of the band-aid. I am sure he'll be happy, he is madly in love with you." I give out a chuckle, eventhough I am nervous. I hope it will be that easy. I let out a deep sigh after the phone call ends, I know I need to get inside so I slowly get out of my car and start walking to my apartment. It is almost five in the afternoon and I am feeling tired and hungry. Elijah won't be here until later. I will have some time to rest and think about how I should tell him we are having a baby. Maybe sleeping on it would help.