Chapter 5

Kathryn's Point of View 18 hours later I am staring down at the sleeping baby on my chest. I am still in awe and my chest feels full. I never knew I could love someone this much. The moment I heard his first cries and they put him on my chest I knew this little human holds my entire heart. I would do anything for him. I softly stroke my finger down his cheek. He is perfect and so beautiful. My heart constructs a little as I look at him. He looks just like him.. I sigh sadly. Even after everything I still wish he was here, to see this perfect little thing we made. But at the same time I don't think he deserves to see our little boy. My little boy.. I hear the doors open and in come Amy and Ryan. I smile at them. It took Amy 6 hours to complete the 7 hour drive, she got here just before I was about to be wheeled into the labor and delivery room. Amy kisses my hair as she looks down at my baby. "Hey, how are you feeling?" I shrug. "A little tired and sore. But I'm okay. I feel.. content. And hungry." I smirk at them. "That is exactly why we brought you this!" Ryan exclaims and holds up a Macdonald's bag. "I love you guys." I say excited with a smile as I sit up to put my boy in the basket next to my bed, covering him before taking the food Ryan holds out to me. We sit and eat in silence for a moment before Amy speaks. "So, have you decided on a name?" I nod, and swallow my mouth full of food. "Yes. Colton. Colton Black." Amy and Ryan both whip up their heads in surprise. "Black?" "Why?" They ask at the same time. I nod. "Yes.. Black. I know he doesn't actually deserve this, he abandoned us. But he is still the father. One day Colton may want to get to know him and I won't deny my child the right the carry his father's name. I know it probably doesn't make any sense to you guys but I don't know.. I just feel it has to be this way." I shrug and continue to eat my food. I see them both staring at me for a few seconds before they share a look an continue to eat their food. I have thought about this a lot. He is my baby. But Elijah is still biologically his father. Maybe one day, he would want to get to know him. I don't want him anywhere near us at the moment.. But Colton can decide when he is older if he wants him in his life. "Has he tried reaching out to you at all?" I look up at Amy and shrug again. "I honestly don't know.. You know I changed my number and my email address.. I didn't tell anyone where I was going when I moved, so even if he had I would not know. I know he tried talking to you once. Did he approach you again?" Amy shakes her head. "No. He came to me once after you moved. And I told him I didn't know where you went. And that I didn't know how to reach you, you would call me once your settled. Just like you asked.. And then he never came again." She shrugs before takinga sip of her cooldrink. "Well, then there you have it. He tried reaching out to you once. Just one time.. Obviously, he did not really care about finding us." I smile sadly. "Did you want him to find you?" Ryan asks with a frown and I shrug again. "I don't know. Maybe. In the back of my mind I have always held out hope that, you know maybe, just maybe he would regret walking away and come back for us. But he didn't." "What would you do if he were to come for you now? Now that Colton's here?" "I honestly don't know. I really don't want him around me. Around us at the moment. He really hurt me and I'm not entirely over it. But this sweet little boy deserves to have a father.. I feel so conflicted. I don't want him anywhere near us, I don't want him even looking at my baby. He abandoned us. He flat-out rejected him before he was even born. But I also want my baby to have a father that would love him. If he wanted to be in his life and be a father to our baby then I don'twant to stand in the way of that." "Have you tried reaching out to him?" I shake my head. "No not even once. I have thought about letting him know that I've given birth though.. But I am not sure if I should.." Ryan sighs. "I don't know. It can't do any harm letting him know right?" Amy nods. "I agree. Maybe he changed his mind." I stare at my baby, contemplating if I should let his father know. Then I nod. "Yes.. I think I am going to do it. I will let him know. This is his one chance. If he comes, I will allow him into our lives. If not.. Well then he can go to hell and I will raise my baby by myself as I planned." I try to call him, but the phone just keeps ringing. I frown when I get his answering machine. "He's not answering." "Maybe it's because he doesn't know the number?" Amy suggests and Ryan nods. "Yes, just send him a quick message and ask him to phone you if he wants to try and work things out for your baby's sake." I nod and type him a message. "Done. I'm giving him two days to respond. After that. He lost his chance." I say putting my phone on the bed side table. "I really hope he comes for you." Amy says squeezing my hand. "Me too." I give her a small smile. Once again hope blooms in me that he will come. That we can try to work this out. Two days.. Then I'm done waiting for him. Please make the right decision and come for us.