FFMSD – 2

YOLANDA XABA This day just feels diverse. I got up on time and got ready for school, but it just feels so outlandish because this is the first day I am waking up for school and my mother is not here. I will never get over her demise; my mother was never sick or showed signs of illness. What killed her; what made her decide to give up on life and leave me her only daughter? It hurts. I take my backpack and walk out of the room. Normally, when I walk out of my bedroom an aroma of a delectable breakfast made by my mother would hit my nose instantly, lingering around the house, but her absence makes it tough and would be a constant reminder that I lost her forever. She left a huge void in my heart that I do not think anyone would ever replace it. I was about to leave the house when my name gets called back. I freeze and my heart starts impelling very hard. I am even scared to let out my voice and answer, so I slowly turn and do not dare raise my eyes at the person summoning me. From the corner of my eye, I see him descending the staircases and stopping on the last staircase. “I can see that you are ready to leave the house. You still have an hour, so where are you rushing to?” “Uhm, I need to catch up with the schoolwork I skipped in the past week, so I thought I should catch the early bus and get to school,” This is the truth, but also, home reminds me of my mother, so I need to get out of here or my mind will go crazy. “I see, but the thing is now, who is going to make breakfast if you leave? And my bed, who has to tidy it?” Hearing these words force me to raise my head up and look at him, hoping that he would tell me he is only joking. He cannot make me do that, can he? “Baba?” I ask, hoping that I did not hear what I think I heard. “You heard me, little princess. As you can see, your mother is no more, and you are now her substitute. So, when you get back from school, I expect you to leave everything and clean the house, wash the dishes, and prepare dinner. In the morning, I expect to find breakfast ready, and you make sure that before you leave the house for school, my bedroom is clear, and on weekends, you do the laundry. Is that clear?” How insensitive of him! He walks around me, and just as he places his hands on my shoulders, my body tenses up. I want to surge into tears, but that will only give him power over me, and one thing about me is that I hate looking vulnerable. Am I going to survive if I continue living here? Is this what the universe is throwing at me right now? What am I being punished for; did I hurt anyone to deserve this kind of treatment? “Baba, can Thando help me because the chores are a lot, and I have to balance my schoolwork too. I cannot do everything on my own,” His hands don’t let go of my shoulders, instead, they give them a soft massage, but my body stiffens harder. “Thando must focus on her schoolwork. Thando is not as smart as you. You have a photographic memory, and I know that you will ace your final exams, so why worry?” That goes without saying. I excel in my studies and pass really well, but that does not mean I don’t have to study. Other than that, this is not fair that I have to do all of these chores by myself. It is not fair. “Be the good girl that you have always been and make daddy some breakfast.” I don’t know, but his voice sounds a little provocative and a bit deeper. What has gone into my father’s mind? He slowly pulls down my backpack off my back and sets it on the armrest before he comes around and places his hand under my chin and lifts my face to look at him. “I better get breakfast ready as soon as I come down. I am going to get ready for work.” *** DANIEL MARTINEZ I won’t say that I like or enjoy what I am doing, but if this is what is going to take for her to be close to me, then I am going to act tough on her. She must behave and be a good girl for me because I have been waiting for this moment since three years ago; the moment when I have to groom her and make her mine. Relax, I am not a paedophile, so I won’t touch her until she is eighteen. She is really precious to me, and to be honest, I married her mother because I wanted to watch her grow in front of my eyes. It is very unfortunate that her mother is gone, and believe me, I am saddened by her death. I did not mean for her to die like that; I wish I had caught her on time but… Anyway, I do not want to talk about that night and how it happened, but I hope Yolanda’s mother rests in peace. My sweet darling wife. I walk out of the shower and dry my body with a dry towel before I wrap it around my waist and walk into my bedroom where I find it tidy and clean. Perfect, just as how her mother used to make it. I dress up in my formal clothes and put on my black sharp nose formal shoes before I take my laptop bag, my phone, and car key downstairs. I smell the toasted bread from the kitchen. I leave my things on the coffee table and head to the kitchen where I find all three of my daughters who have already started eating their breakfast sitting around the kitchen counter. Thando is busy giggling on her phone while eating, and Anele is just my bubbly squishy girl as always. As for Yolanda, she is quietly lost in her own world. It is understandable; she just buried her mother yesterday. We will get through this together. “Good morning, girls. Did you guys sleep well?” I ask, grabbing my seat on the barstool between Anele and Yolanda. “It was not the same without mom,” Anele says in a low tone. I sigh and place my hand on her shoulder. “Well, I had a great sleep, baba. Oh, our matric dance is right around the corner, I am so excited. Baba, I need my dress to be designed by David Tlale, can you organise that for me?” Thando excitedly announces. She is saying it so effortlessly as if she knows how much our famous fashion designer David Tlale charges. I don’t believe in freebies, so she has got to work hard to earn a dress designed by David Tlale. “Thando, you should know by now that I do not just give handouts. Work hard at school and show me good marks first,” If this does not encourage her to earn good scores, then I don’t know. Thando hates studying, no matter how much I try to encourage her. She is an average student, but if she is not careful enough, she will not get entry into college because she is just too comfortable with her low marks. “I knew it was going to get there, but I can’t wait to make you proud,” She says sarcastically. Without saying anything, I start eating my food. I do not fail to steal glances at Yolanda as I eat without anyone noticing. She has not lifted her spoon to her mouth, but it just keeps stirring her cereal. I clear my throat to speak. “I’ll take you girls to school,” “Thank God, I will be in the car. Which one, dad?” Thando says, getting up. I am sensing that something had gone down before I arrived, and I have no doubt that she triggered it. “The Range Rover,” I answer. Anele also stands and follows her out. I am now left alone with Yolanda. I turn with my whole body and face her. “Are you okay?” I ask, firmly. “Baba, I am sorry. I will stop seeing him, but please… this is too much for me,” She bursts out into tears. I tilt my head and look at her. “You need to understand something, baby girl. I do not hate you, but I want what is best for you. That boy is only temporary in your life and soon before you realise it, he will be gone and out of your life. He is a small boy, and small boys like him “Books before boys because boys bring babies,” “That is good. Put that in your mind and don’t disappoint daddy.” I don’t actually like that I gave her all these chores, but if it is going to make her stay away from that boy, I will do whatever it takes. I feel bad for hurting her last week, and I just don’t know how to bring it up and apologise to her, but I was resentful, and I hated seeing another guy touching what I am saving for myself. I like Yolanda a lot, I love her too much that I am waiting for her to mature. Fuck, I have a daughter that is her age, and I know that it is going to affect everyone when I affirm this. It is wrong, but to me, it feels right. I might even scare Yolanda off, but I hope that she gets used to the idea someday and opens her heart to me. “You are not ready to go back to school. Go back to sleep and forget about the chores today. I will send a cleaner,” I stand up and lean to kiss the top of her head as I do with all my girls. “I have to go, now. The food was good, thank you.”