!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!
YOLANDA
I open the door and see him standing with his hands holding a box of my belongings. I did not expect to see him, but it is probably my stepfather who sent him here.
I shift aside and let him inside. My father had just left my apartment, so I was alone, unpacking and packing my things. The apartment is fully furnished and immaculate, so other than unpacking, I have nothing more to do. My father had already bought a grocery for me on our way here, so the food will last me until mid-month and he will send me more money then.
I still cannot believe that this is my new home, and I will be living alone. Now reality kicks in that I am an adult and I have to be responsible.
“This is a nice apartment, but I don’t get why I had to find out from your father,”
Is that a necessary question for Kyle to ask me? Was that really the first thing for Kyle to say to me?
I close the door and walk towards him to get the box.
“Thank you,” I say with no intention of entertaining his last statement.
“Is that all you are going to say?” He asks, preventing me from taking the box from him.
“What do you expect me to say, Kyle?” I fold my arms and look up at him.
“I do not like your attitude, baby girl; you better watch how you talk to me,” He places the box on the floor before he takes a seat on the couch comfortably.
I roll my eyes, picking up the box and taking it to my bedroom. I come back and Kyle has one leg crossed over the other while his focus is set on his phone.
I ignore him and get clear up minor things in the lounge before I go to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I don’t know how to offer Kyle something to eat or drink because I am so angry at him. Kyle treats me according to our age differences, but not like a couple. He is too controlling and says things without thinking they might hurt me. His word should always be the last we hear. Honestly, I feel exhausted by him because I always sit on the edge uncomfortably, waiting for him to say something that might hurt me.
He puts his phone next to him and glares at me as I sit on the armchair, drinking my water.
“Why didn’t you call me yesterday?” He starts.
“You already know that I was spending time with my dad. You left me there, remember?” I retort.
“But you could have let me know that you are still fine and that I shouldn’t come and fetch you. I called you but your phone was off up until this morning when you suddenly decided to call me,”
I look down in shame as guilt overwhelms me. I got home last night thinking that the first thing I would do is charge my phone and call Kyle, but I had wine with my stepfather before we kissed.
I am so ashamed, and I wish last night never happened. I am so regretful.
Should I be honest with Kyle about it, or do I keep it to myself? I love Kyle so much, and the last thing I want is to hurt him. I cheated on Kyle horribly.
“I am sorry, Kyle,” I start crying.
“No, Yolanda; hold the f**k up with your damn tears. As your man, I am supposed to know everything about you, where you are, and where you are going. Right now, your father dropped this huge bomb on me, and do you know how that made me feel? I felt stupid,”
“I called you this morning to tell you about it, didn’t I? You were so rude towards me, and do you know how you made me feel? I felt like a doormat that you use to wipe dog s**t off your shoes. You do not respect me as your girlfriend, and the way you spoke to me when I first called was uncalled for!” I yell.
“Uncalled for? I was putting you into order because you were losing control, dammit!” He stands up and charges towards me. “Who the f**k do you think the man is between us? Who wears pants?” He stops in front of me.
“What is that supposed to do with us?”
“Just answer the damn question!” He roars.
“I might as well be wearing the pants! Is that what you want to hear, huh?”
He exhales, heavily and disapproving. I swallow hard and wish I hadn’t let those words out. His face has completely changed and looks like he would strangle me, but before I know it, he hits the glass off my hands and it falls to the floor, breaking and splashing the water.
I look at him with shock and fear in my eyes. He is fearsome and loathsome. I do not recognise the man in front of me.
“Let’s fix that. Maybe I have been too nice to you so much that you forgot your role in this relationship,”
“Kyle, no,” I shake my head vigorously. He fixes the long sleeves of his t-shirt, and just as he tries to grab me by arm, I stand to escape, only for him to pull me back by my hair.
I yelp in pain, and I think he might have pulled out a bit of my hair because it stings.
“Kyle, stop!” I scream.
“Shut the hell up! It is all your fault, Yolanda. You make me do things that I don’t intend to do,” He scolds me, dragging me to the couch and throwing me on top of it.
“Kyle, I am sorry,”
“f**k that!” He harshly retorts and punches me in the stomach. I gasp for air, crying and weakly pushing him off me.
“Please, you are hurting me, Kyle,” I cry out, but it falls on deaf ears.
He punches me two times more on my stomach before he slaps me across my chest.
“Who wears the pants, huh? Who is the man between you and I?”
“You… you,” I weakly say.
“LOUDER!” He presses his knee on my neck, making it impossible for me to breathe.
I choke, unable to speak. He grabs and holds my arms tight so that I stop struggling. I stay strong and endure the pain that comes with the abuse.
It pains me not only physically but emotionally too. Why would Kyle hit me like this? Why would he want to hurt me this much? It is as if he is guilty of something and now, he needs someone to blame. What him and I are fighting for is not even this severe for him to raise his hand on me. What has gotten into him?
He pulls me off the couch and I fall right on top of the wet floor with broken glasses. He does not even care because he somehow believes that I deserve this kind of punishment.
“Clean up this mess. I am leaving.” He sayings, actually leaving.
I stay on the floor, quietly crying. I don’t deserve this; I DON’T!
***
Aksara