Chapter Six - The Talk

Just because let you go Doesn't mean I wanted to. -(via karmadunutte) Pinterest Lia Being alone with Luca in my bedroom elicited more feelings than I wanted to admit, especially when he looked at me as if I was a midnight snack. Taking a step back from him, he raised an eyebrow, and I wondered what his expectations were of me. “I think before we talk, I need you to tell me what you expect from me.” He gave me a confused look, which meant he had not thought beyond our talk. “What do you want from me, Luc?”My voice shook; going to sit on top of my bed while motioning him to sit on the chair. He moved his eyes to the bed beside me, but I shook my head. He walked to the chair slowly like he thought I would change my mind. I didn't; he sat down with a thud, leaning on the back like he was a Sheikh about to examine his harem. “I want a lot from you.” my heart almost jumped into my throat. What the hell did that entail? I did not have to ask him because a minute later, he said, “I want more than we had nine years ago.” Suddenly, I was alert; my ears could have flapped if they were bigger. I was on tenterhooks. “What did we have nine years ago?” I asked in a whisper. I knew, but memories can be hazy. I wanted to hear whether he remembered it the same way I did. “I remember running through the woods...” “We are too old to do that,” I cut in, giving in to an involuntary smile because I couldn't stop it. We had a fantastic childhood; we had nature and modernization in one freaking place, and we still did. “Who says we can't? We can do it.” he sounded like he was about to make a salesman’s pitch. “Luc,” I called, my endearing tone making him smile, a grin that reached his beautiful eyes. “Lia,” he responded in a sensual voice. This was one of the reasons I was afraid to be alone in a room with him, his ability to get through my nine years of grudge to the point of craving his touch. “Luca, please be serious. I deserve that, don't I?“ I asked, sounding timid, a feeling I loathed. Why did he make me feel meek and courageous at the same time? Immediately after I said that, Luca stopped goofing around; his face took a mask of an almost unyielding pose. “You deserve everything you could ever want.” my lips quivered, and butterflies swam in my stomach, making me feel like a nervous wreck. “Why do you have this power to make me blush, shake or want to rush into a corner because I don't want you to know how much you affect me?” He sighed, then ran his tongue over his lips while looking at me like he did when we were alone since we turned fourteen. I didn't want to admit that to him; it was not very comfortable, but if we were to move forward, we both needed to be honest. “I have loved you since I saw you walking in the middle of your two cats.” I felt tears brimming at those words, but I couldn't cry; thankfully, I did not. I held them in like the badass I was. “I understand I was barely five,” he added, leaning forward, his fingers clasped together as if he didn't want to admit it, yet he did because he valued me more than his pride. “But as young as I was, I knew you would mean the world to me; you did; you still do.” “Then why did you leave? Why have you been hopping from one woman’s bed to another?” I did not sound judgemental; most importantly, neither did I sound Jealous, even though I had been each time I saw a woman beside him. “I..., “ he coughed, then cleared his throat before he said, “I have no excuse for the women I've dated,” I didn't wait for him to continue that train of thought before I snapped. “I don't want an excuse; I'm asking for a reason. Why?” He raised his brow at the tone of my voice; he shouldn't have been surprised. He has seen me in every mood imaginable, and that regrettably included my aroused state. “I don't have one other than I needed a woman.” I stared at him without blinking, silently cussing him, and the world at how different men were from women. He was the only one I had ever had s*x with. The only one I could imagine undressing for. “Does that means you can't be abstinent?” “I have been for the last three years. Haven't you read the rumors? I might be a closeted gay.” I gasped, laughing while hiding my face. Gay? Please, I thought, remembering that afternoon and the little touches and whispers over the years. “You could be bi,” I suggested, convulsing with laughter at the scowl that appeared on his face In my laughter, I forgot I was mad at him, although not for long; I found I liked the respite I found in laughter at his expense. “No, I'm not. I haven't wanted anyone else since I opened my eyes and saw you in the hospital.” “What?” My eyes widened in shock. No, this is not happening; i will not fall into this hole again. I told myself, staring at him as if he had gone insane. “You're sexually attracted to me?” He shot me an annoyed glance, “I never stopped.” he said forcefully, standing up and starting to pace like he was tired of sitting. “But now, my d**k only stands for you.” Okay, too much information. That, however, didn't stop my freaking heart from starting an exciting parade that almost knocked me over. Then I thought of something, what if he was lying to me, “Are you lying to me right now?” He stopped pacing and turned to glare at me. “I wish I was.” I believed him. Not the words, but the tone in his voice. “I hate it, Lia.” There it was again. That soft tone stirred emotions I had kept hidden for nine years. “Does that mean you wish you could still sleep around?” “Honestly, yes.” That broke my heart, but it was good, to be honest. “Me too,” I said to him because it was true. I wished I could be sexually attracted to another man too. “Why did you leave, Luc?” We had avoided this question for too long. It was time to know. I had stressed over it for so long, blaming myself thinking I hadn't been enough, or I didn't satisfy him that night even though I knew he had c*m; surprisingly, so did I which has tomented me for year's. What if I hadn't been his first? As unreasonable as it was, I could deal with the women he slept with after me, but it would break me if there were any before me. “Because immediately after, I started planning my life with you, around you.” “Was that so wrong?” “Yes,” he said silently. “ I have heard and listened to you speak of your dreams since we were young. Giving you the responsibility of inserting me into your dream felt unfair?” “To whom?” “To you. And perhaps to me too.” I bit my lip to keep them it from trembling. “I don't think that is a good reason.” “Not if you don't know that part of me...” he let out an embarrassed laugh, “part of me had wanted you to be pregnant.” Nothing he said would have shocked me more than that. “That is why I left. I didn't trust myself to make love to you again and not deliberately try to make you pregnant.” “At fourteen? Are you crazy? Are you out of your f*****g mind?” I angrily stood, threw all the pillows on my bed at him. He stood still as they hit him, as if he was ready to take any punishment I could unleash. “Why? Why would you want to hurt me like that?” This time, I couldn't hide my tears; they streamed uncontrollably down my face. “Not to hurt you, to keep you. Which would have ultimately hurt you. Silence followed, but I gasped, hiccuping from trying to keep from weeping. “I know it is an excuse. But please, Lia, I was fourteen.” “So was I,” I shot back in a breaking voice. “No boy is having s*x at fourteen and wishing they got their girl pregnant.” “I know...,” he paused, leaning back with on leg against the door. “How did you feel after we slept together?” How the hell was I supposed to answer that? I asked silently. I was standing on top of my bed, heaving, furiously glowering at him like he was the devil’s incarnate. “Like did you want me for more than that day?” “Yes. Of course, I did.” I shouted, gripping my head with frustration. “I wanted to marry.” My eyes flew wide open like saucers. “Good God!” I whispered. “At fourteen, I wanted to marry you. I can't explain how I felt when I made love to you that afternoon because it would sound sacrilegious. I wanted you with an intensity that scared me.” “Luc,” I didn't know how I felt any longer, residual of anger, I guess, but it must have taken more than physical strength to walk away from me. He must have gone through emotional hell. “Being away from you almost destroyed me. “ he let out a dismissive laugh, watching me with hooded eyes. “The day after I left, I got this tattoo ring.” he looked at it, then touched it lovingly. “You said it's a commitment to your career.” He huffed. That's just bullshit. It was my commitment to you. “ “What does that mean.” “I think in my twisted young mind, I wanted to control something, and I couldn't mess up with your life with what I wanted, so I had my finger tattoed with a ring symbol to remind me that I love you, and my heart including my damn ring finger were yours.” “But that didn't stop you from sleeping around.” My jealousy slipped in when I wasn't looking. He looked at me intently, walking to stand beside the bed. With his head lifted to my face, Luca held his arms towards me, his eyes pleading with me to go to him. I hesitated, eventually stepping forward and scooped up into solid arms. “Why want to make me pregnant, though?” “To keep you from belonging to anyone else.” I blinked a few time in disbelief. “That is so f****d up!” I swore, trying to pull out of his arms but he couldn't let me.. “It's obsessive and unhealthily possessive.” Although he didn't say anything, his gaze changed, like a confirmation that he did agree with my assessment. “I'm selfish, I know, but I'm glad you haven't sleep with anyone else.” I shrugged, “how would you know?” I asked with sass. He smirked, pulling me closer to his arms. “I know,” he confessed, staring into my eyes. “Have you been spying on me?” I could hear the outrage in my voice. He shook his head. “Did Dev tell on me?” He shook his head again. “Then how the f**k do you know that?” He shrugged his shoulders, putting his chin on my shoulder. “I just know,” he whispered directly to my ear. “You're still mine,” he breathed, running his nose along my neck. “For that reason, you're not mine. “ I mumbled, turning slightly to give his chin more room to roam over my neck. “I'm yours. I've always been yours. Then why didn't you say who I was when Racing Motors asked you to identify me?” “Because of two things. First, you're my f*****g business; second, I knew you would hate it if I talked of our connection. The same reason you refuse to be seen with me in public. “ “It's not that I hate it..I-I,” she stammered. “You want to make your way through Hollywood on your merit, not by being seen in the arm of one the sexiest men alive. I get that.” I couldn't help it; I blasted out laughing, kissing his cheek before he palmed my face, his green gaze looking at me with intent. “One kiss, Lia, just one.” My feet turned to jelly; I would have kissed him if we had not heard a helicopter landing. “f**k!” he swore when I pulled out to run out. I ran downstairs, joining Serena, Sienna, and Alessa at the window. “Did you kiss him?” Serena whispered, nudging me with her shoulder. “No! Of course not.” I hissed, feigning outrage directed at her for thinking that of me. But one look from her, and she smirked, a knowing glimmer in her eyes. “Fine. I almost did, but I didn't. That loud annoying sound saved me.” We were so caught up in our world we didn't hear the guys returning to the house. “Hi, rich boy.” I heard Sienna call when Nathan entered the room. He was Matthew Ocean, the tech billionaire‘s firstborn son; we were somewhat family because his father grew up with our fathers, and we also spent some time and some holidays with his family. “Don't call me that! It's not even my money; it's my father's.” He glowered at her as I pulled him for a hug. I didn't know why Sienna always picked on him, but she did it every time they met since they turned thirteen or thereabouts. “Yeah, tell that to the dazzling Rolex on your left wrist.” “That doesn't prove a damn thing, “ he said, turning to throw Sienna another cutting look; she wasn't fazed, “I could also call you rich girl, but I'm classy and dignified. She snorted. “Okay, cute boy.” she threw at him, and I thought it was interesting. That introduced another whole dynamic to their bickering. Nathan gave her a knowing smile, a twinkle in his eyes as if he had finally figured her out. Boy, was he wrong? “So, you think I'm cute?” Sienna looked at him straight into the eyes and, with a nonchalant shrug, said, “yes. You're tall, perhaps a little rangy, you dress well, and your eyes look a bit dreamy. Most girls would find you cute. It's a general observation.” She said it so carelessly Nathan narrowed his eyes, looking slightly more grimacing than I had ever seen him. “Don't call me that either.” “Sure, Joseph. “ “Like Zipporah is any better.” He viciously shot back without missing a beat. Sienna froze for a second before yelling Nico’s name. If it were possible to bring down a house from a deep, angry booming voice, ours would have crumbled there and then. “What?” Nico said from the door, staring her down. “Did you tell Nate my middle name?” “Call me that from now on.” She did not even spare him a glance; she acted as if he hadn't spoken. “Is your middle name some FBI, CIA, classified information?” Nic asked with indignation. She didn't care; Sienna kept her eyes on his face waiting for him to answer; when he didn't, she asked again, “did you or did you not tell Nathan my middle name?” “I don't know why I'm your number one suspect of all of us.” Nick continued, feigning hurt, but of all us, Sienna knew him the best since they were twins, so she saw through him. “How is your middle name a secret when father Josè told of how beautiful and meaningful it was to everyone who cared to listen?” Zion chimed in when he came into the living room, a bottle of beer in his hand. “Yes, I remember now,” Nate said, throwing his head back laughing his a*s of. “He said Zipporah was Moses’ wife. From now on, you call me anything other than Nate; I will call Mosses’ wife. Seems like a fair play. “ Irritation left Sienna’s eyes like it was never there to be replaced by a smirk and calculating devious gaze. “Let's do that, rich boy.” Without waiting for his comeback, she breezed out of the room, leaving a stunned Nate gawking at her disappearing back. “Why does she hate me?” I shook my head while smiling, “she doesn't hate you.” I was beginning to think Sienna might like Nate more than she realized. “Lia, can I speak to you in private?” Luca asked. I threw him a look, shook my head and sat down next to Nate. “How are your parents, Nate?” “Mom is pregnant.” we all collectively gasped with fascination. “How do you feel? I would like a baby in our family right now.” Nate smiled joyously, “ I don't mind it. And my mother finally gets to have the four children she always wanted.” Before I could respond, Luca came over to where we sat, held my hand, and pulled me up. “Excuse us,” he announced, pulling me out of the room. “Hi. Mondays are for Lia and Luca. They finally had ‘the’ talk. How was it? Kindly Let me know.