6. her plan

Adira pov I froze on my spot. I had gone completely stiff. I just stood there staring at Charles with wide eyes. I forgot to blink or to breathe. I had ceased feeling anything. My worst fear was actually coming true. “Adira....” my mom’s hushed voice took me out of the daze I was in. She took my hand and lead me to the couch and made me sit beside papa. I followed her like a zombie and sat down with my eyes downcast and my hands on my knees. What was happening? I am not ready for this. But I was in too much of a shock to say anything. Or to react. “I like her.” Charles voice made my skin crawl. I felt an uneasy shiver go down my spine. I felt tears accumulating in my eyes and soon those tears threatened to fall down from my eyes. I felt that papa and Charles had stood up from their seats and shake hands. They exchanged words of agreement and congratulations. It all felt like a blur to me. My head was spinning and I felt all of this was like a nightmare that I wanted to wake up from. Tears blurred my vision. By the time Charles had left, the tears wear streaming down my face. Papa looked at me and frowned. “Adira. Why are you crying?” he asked. I felt my throat block as more tears rolled down from my cheeks. I must tell him. I never expressed my feeling to him. It was only mama that I shared my thoughts with. But each time, she would tell me that it was not our custom. Girls are supposed to get married soon and start a life. Then, her husband would be her everything. Her whole life will revolve around him. What he says or does is correct and the best. In other words, the girl has not right to express her feelings or voice her opinion. To the hell with these stupid customs and norms. I want change. I sniffled and gulped as I made eye contact with my papa. “Papa..” I said in a croaked voice. My sobs made it worse and harder for me to say what I want. I gulped down the saliva in my mouth and tried to continue once again. “Papa... I ... I don’t want this.” I managed to whisper before breaking down in to full blown crying. “I want to study.. I want to become a doctor.” I sobbed and placed my hands on my face. I wiped away some of the tears that blurred my vision and looked at him. He certainly was not happy with my declaration. He had already said yes to him, without even asking me for my consent. I hated these customs. He looked at mama but didn’t say anything and left us alone. I cried harder. I knew that my demands and wishes will not be fulfilled no matter what. “Tsk. Adira. I told you that it is not possible. How do we even pay for a medical degree? We are not rich.” Mama sounded unhappy. Yes. We were not rich. We managed to make the ends meet with what papa could earn. “Besides Charles had agreed to pay for Levi’s business course. If he had not, we most probably wouldn’t be able to pay for that either.” She added. I wiped my tears and faced her. “Is this what it is? Because he agreed to pay for that? And he agreed to give money? Are you willing to sell me for money?” I demanded, my voice rose in anger. To say that she looked shocked was an understatement. Her looked speechless for a moment but then she shook her head. “No Adira. We are not selling you. He asked for your hand in marriage and he came to know that Levi was interested in business studies. So he just said that he will help.” She said. I was fuming. “If he has so much money why can’t he just give us a stupid loan. Why does he want to marry me?” I scoffed. “All what men can think of is marrying and marrying their daughters off. They are selfish and heartless. I......” I trailed off when I felt a tight slap on my cheek. I placed my hand on my stinging face and looked at mama in astonishment. “How dare you say that. Charles is here because he is interested in you. If he had bad intentions he would have tried to take advantage of you. Not ask for your hand in marriage. And your father is someone who had taken care of you since you were young. Yes. There are times he was a bit too harsh but he had tried hard to correct that and actually had made a significant improvement. I don’t want to hear a word more about them from you. Not wanting to marry is another thing but don’t you dare say something disrespectful towards them.” Mama shouted at me as she shook her index finger in my face. I was still rubbing my aching cheek, shocked at her outburst. I took a while to digest everything that had just happened. Is this my fate? I shook my head. I will not accept this. I racked my brain and suddenly remembered that my science teacher had told me about a scholarship that I could apply for. Perhaps I should go for it. I was not going to just sit down and cry. I sure will fight for what I want. And I will prove them wrong. I sat still and didn’t utter a word more as I watched mama take angry steps towards her room. Most probably papa is waiting for her. Levi was watching the whole incident silently. He had a snug look on his face. He approached me with his head hung low. “As much as I want to study business, I wouldn’t want that at the expense of your happiness.” He whispered and left me alone in the living room. I looked around. I was left alone. Perhaps this is my chance. I thought as I eyed the only landline in our house. We just had a landline in our house. Some awfully rich people like Charles had mobile phones, though it was not very common in our village. I didn’t loose a moment and hastened to dial my teacher’s number. “Hello.” She answered. I smiled. “Miss Courtney, about that scholarship you said. Can you please help? I will send the necessary documents.” I said. “Adira?” She asked. She clearly sounded excited. “Of course, send them to me. I’ll apply it for you.” She said. I agreed and hung up. I smirked. I’m sure Levi will help me through this. I ran towards my room to collect all the documents and hurried to find Levi. He must be in his room, most probably getting ready for bed. “Levi!” I exclaimed as soon as I barged in to his room. He gasped and then let out a deep breath. “Oh my God Adira. You startled me. What is it?” he asked. I chuckled. I should really keep it down. I didn’t want my parents to know yet. Perhaps if they realise that I could actually study without them having to pay a penny they will call this wedding off. “You’ve got to help me Levi. Please please. Take these to miss Courtney tomorrow. And she will apply for scholarship for me. Maybe I will get out of this stupid wedding.” I told him. His eyes grew wide. “Wow. Any chance of a scholarship ship for me too?” he asked. I shrugged. “Maybe.” I said. “Please help Levi. There will be many people willing to help you. Because... well....” “I am a boy.” He finished the sentence off for me. “sure. Let’s see if this works. I will go to her place first thing in the morning.” He promised and he nodded at me. He looked at me meaningfully and gestured that he will keep his promise. I squealed in excitement. Levi had never let me down. I am sure he will help me through this time as well. I rushed towards my room and got ready for bed. It might just work. I could barely sleep. The excited and anxiety kept me awake. I got up as soon as the sun rose and hurried to Levi’s room. I shook him to wake the sleepy head up. “Come on. Wake up.” I urged. “What?” his groggy voice and irritated expression made me giggle. “Get up. It’s time to go to miss Courtney’s.” I said. I couldn’t hide my excitement even if I tried. He quickly checked the time and groaned. “6 am! What is wrong with you girl? Miss Courtney wouldn’t be even up yet.” “No way. She is not a lazy like you.” I teased him. He looked at me. “What?” he asked as he narrowed his eyes at me. “Nothing. I love you and you are the best brother in the whole world. Now please get the documents to her.” I said as I gave my best puppy eyes look at him. He rolled his eyes and turned to one side. He groaned once again and forcefully got up from his bed. “You are lucky that I love you crazy girl.” He muttered under his breath. I giggled. “of course you do. I am your only sister anyway.” I said and flashed my best grin at him. But soon my grin faltered. “Levi. You are not going to tell mama and papa are you?” I asked, worry and fear suddenly creeping in to my heart. He chuckled. “No. I won’t. It’s your story to tell.” He answered and took his towel to freshen up. “Thanks bro. You seriously are the best.” I said and quickly exited his room. I just hope this works. He left for miss Courtney’s before mama and papa could see him. I waited impatiently for his return. Mama was an early bird. She and papa would soon ask me about Levi. He did not return until breakfast was fully prepared. By then mama was already wondering where Levi was. Luckily he came back just in time for breakfast. “Where did you go?” papa asked him. “I just went for a walk.” He answered. I sat down beside him, deliberately trying my best to avoid his gaze. Or anyone’s eye contact for that matter. Perhaps my parents noticed my silence. “Adira.” My papa’s voice startled me. I felt my heart beat pulsate and suddenly my palms felt sweaty. I felt like a guilty criminal who was trying to get away from getting caught. I had never hidden anything from them. I had never done anything in secret. And now, doing this for the sake of my future is overwhelming. But still this has to be done. He sighed and continued. “I am sorry. But Charles really seems like a good person. He can take really good care of you.” He said. I stared at him silently. “Adira dear. Don’t be angry. You will soon realise it is for your best.” Mama added. I looked between my parents. Oh so they were thinking that my silence was because I was unhappy with their decision. I bit my lips and forced a smile. I played with my food, suddenly as I lost interest in eating. I pouted and thought about my application. Today, miss Courtney will apply and perhaps I will get an answer with in a month. I hope I have enough time before the wedding. The rest of the breakfast was uneventful. I met Levi in his room as soon as I could. “What did she say?” I asked in a hushed whisper. “She will apply today and most probably they will reply with in two to three weeks.” He said. “Do you think they might rush the wedding? I mean everything is set. Just the invitations, your dress and maybe some other preparations. Charles will not want to loose much time. He will make the preparations soon.” He added. I sighed and thought about it. He was right. Charles was a powerful man with lots of servants and had lots of money. He just might rush it. “What if I get sick? Then he will have to wait.” I said. Levi looked at me with raised eyebrows. “You know that plant that grows in the wild...I forgot it’s name. It could make you have diarrhoea.” I said “What? No way. That thing is poisonous. It could kill you.” He protested. He frowned at me and raised his hand in peace. “Look Adira. Don’t do it. I don’t want to loose you. And I definitely won’t be part of suicide.” I bit my inner cheeks. But it would be worth it if it works. Wouldn’t it?