Book 1 Chapter7

VERITY I feel the warmth hit my face. I moved slightly and opened my eyes but was blinded by the sun. I forgot to close my blinds last night. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I thought of last night's events, which made my face blush slightly. I wonder if anyone heard me, but the other question was, did anyone look through my bedroom window at the show Axel and I put on? My stomach churns at the mere thought of Axel as I look over to the other side of me. I felt my stomach drop as I gazed at the space next to me. I felt hurt. He always did this when he came here, whether at the hotel or my flat; he would leave without saying a word to me: no note explaining anything, just nothing. At least I was in my flat this time, I thought. The last time we hooked up, it was at the hotel. I felt so ashamed of leaving the room. He left me there on my own. I had to dress and make my shameful retreat to my car with the receptionist giving me a knowing look like I was doing the walk of shame. I felt embarrassed. I felt wetness on my face as I stared at the space next to me. I moved and sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard. I moved the back of my hand to my cheeks and wiped the stray tears that fell. I knew why I was crying; it wasn't hard to work out why. Not only was I left alone with no word, but last night's conversation came crashing into my head. This was the last weekend I was going to see him. He was going to be looking for his mate, his soulmate. I felt a pang of hurt hit my chest like it was crushing me. Tears fell more. I didn't know if I could see him again tonight, knowing it would be my last night with him. It hurt every time he left me without a word but knowing it was the last time I would ever see him again made it even worse. The pain in my chest got worse, but I sat there as I let the tears flow. I was in pain. I was losing someone I cared about, someone who might have a soulmate thats picked out for him. The thought was like a punch to the gut. I stay like that for a while, not even bothering to check the lounge. I knew nothing was left for me. I stared off into the distance, wondering what the hell was the best for me to do. I needed to think, but as my tears came, so did the headache. I sighed. I knew I had to get up and move. I could make a day of leisure, watching movies and eating junk food. I didn't have to see him till later, and knowing Axel, it would be late or probably into the early hours. He didn't want anyone from his pack to know me; I knew that as they would ask loads of questions, he would say. I felt like a dirty little secret to him. I got he didn't want to tell anyone, but something deep down made me feel like he was ashamed to be around me. I tried to push the hurt feelings away as I slowly moved from the bed and got up. I walked over to the blinds, not caring that I was naked, and closed them. I had the weekend off, and I wasn't going to move. I walked over to the closet. I quickly grabbed some comfy clothes, sweatpants, and a baggy top and headed into the bathroom. I needed to freshen up after last night's antics. I quickly switched on the shower and headed inside, not bothering to check myself in the mirror. I quickly washed, and once I was finished, I switched off the shower, grabbed a towel from the back of the door, and quickly dried myself. I placed the clothes I had brought with me on and put my hair in a messy bun without looking in the mirror. I walked out of the bathroom and headed into the lounge but stopped in my tracks as I looked around the room. On the table by the couch were my uneaten pizzas and beers. Nothing had been moved, but I didn't expect him to do anything, anyway. I sighed. I knew I had nothing in my cupboards and fridge as I was meant to go food shopping, but I couldn't be bothered. It looks like I am reheating pizza today for food. I walked over to the couch and sat down. I grabbed the remote and flicked it onto Netflix. I found a film and sat on the couch to watch it. I placed my legs on the couch and moved the blanket that had fallen on the floor over my legs. I leaned back and watched the film, but my mind kept returning to Axel. How could one man make me feel things? We weren't even a couple, we hooked up whenever he came to town, and that was it. I shouldn't have to feel sorry for myself or hurt by what he did to me. I brought it on myself. I knew I was overthinking everything. I tried to get into the movie but soon realized it was a romantic comedy that made me cry. Great, I need to stop frigging crying. I watched the film but let the tears fall, not caring that it was over the actors kissing. I watched another two films like this, not moving. I knew I had to eat, but the cold pizza looked disgusting. I paused the third film and moved the pizza boxes into the kitchen. The kitchen was tidy, but I knew I had to throw rubbish out, but I couldn't be bothered to do it. I knew nothing was in the fridge, so I looked in the freezer, where I found some mint chocolate chip ice cream.I grabbed it and got a spoon out of the drawer. I walked back into the lounge and got myself comfy. I pressed play on the movie and leaned back. I was dosing off on the couch and must have fallen asleep as I woke up to screenshots of shows popping up on my TV. I moved and stared, wondering what the time was, and glanced toward the clock. I knew it was getting late, about ten pm, as I woke up later. I let out a sigh but heard a ping from my phone. I didn't even look at it all day, so I moved off the couch and headed over to my phone. I picked it up and looked at who had messaged me. There was only one message, no one had contacted, but only one, and it was from him.I stared at the notification for a moment but clicked on it. "Hey gorgeous, come over to the hotel about midnight; I want to finish what I started last night," it read. My stomach was in a knot as I re-read the message. After a long time, I must have read the message a dozen times before I placed the phone back on the counter. What was I going to do? Should I go to him? My core tightened at the possibility of seeing him again, knowing what we would do when I got there, but part of me was hurt. The conversation about finding his mate popped into my head. How could someone hook up with someone knowing that they had a soulmate out there that was made for them? If humans had that chance, we would jump at the opportunity. Knowing that someone was made for us and only for us, sounded like a dream to us, but for werewolves to have that made me wish I could be one. I stared at the phone but backed away slowly, but stopped and turned to look at my lounge. I couldn't text him back. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I was in two minds about whether I should or shouldn't go. Thanks to him, my heart was begging me not to, as it was already broken. My core had other ideas; knowing there would never be a chance to see him again made it worse. He was the only man I felt something with, and I even loved the s*x we had together. It was hard to figure out. I could get changed and decide then, I thought. I turned around and headed to the bathroom, knowing I needed to look at myself in the mirror. I knew I had puffy eyes due to all the crying I did. I walked into the bathroom and switched on the light. I stood in front of the mirror and grimaced at my reflection. I looked hideous. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy. I had ice cream all around my mouth. I placed the plug in the sink and ran the top. I filled the sink with cold water and washed my face. Whatever I decided, I knew giving myself a cold wash was good. It would help with the puffiness and cool down my face. I washed and dried my face. I looked back up and thought that would do for now. I turned around, switching the light off as I headed through the door and into my bedroom. I knew I had to change, but I couldn't be bothered. I quickly glanced at my make-up counter and placed a few items in a small bag. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought I could place some makeup on before I went to see him. Every time I think about Axel, my stomach churns. My little makeup bag was done, and I looked down at my clothes; I knew there was no point in changing as my clothes would be coming off soon. Again, my stomach churned, but this time it was unease that came in. It felt wrong to say things that I knew my clothes would be off, even before I went to him. I knew what we were, but I also knew I had feelings for someone I shouldn't. I looked back at my reflection in my makeup mirror and sighed. I placed the small makeup bag under my arm, walked toward the back of my door, and grabbed my hoodie before I headed out of my room. I walked over to the counter where my phone was and picked it up. There were no other messages, not even from Axel. I sighed and walked over to the couch. I picked up the remote and pointed it at the TV to switch it off. The room went dark instantly. I knew my way around this flat as I grew attached to it. I walked over to the front door and grabbed my keys from the hook by the side of the door. I pulled open the door and walked through, closing it behind me. I quickly locked the door. I quickly placed my hoodie on and walked out through the door. I knew I was early, but I didn't care. Axel knew I would stay out of sight when I got to the hotel; he showed me the back entrance to the hotel the last time. There was a staircase that I could go up, but knowing that he was in the same room he always was, I wasn't looking forward to walking up six flights of stairs. As I stepped outside, I looked around and found my car on the opposite side. I used my car to go to the hotel to see Axel and visit the nearby town. The town has many features there, including a small bookstore. I love it there as they sell all the old classics, such as Jane Eyre, but the owner gets books in if she hasn't got the one you want. I know all too well, as I wanted an erotic book that Kelly told me about that she saw on t****k. When I asked, the woman looked like she was going to choke on her coffee. She gave me a knowing look but never said anything. I walked over to my car and climbed in. I quickly started the engine and made my way to the hotel. The hotel was twenty minutes away by car and not far from where I lived. I drove in silence. There weren't many cars on the road as most of the townspeople walked as everything you need is within walking distance. I kept my eyes on the road, but my mind kept wondering whether I was doing the right thing. I drove in a daze till I got to the junction. The sign to the hotel was in front of me, pointing left. I stopped at the junction but didn't move as I stared at the sign; something was stopping me from going.