07: INSECURITY

The sun was setting, casting a warm glow on the surroundings. Dirga wanted to have a conversation with Andien. "Can we talk, just the two of us?" "Sure. Wait, let me take the kids to their room first." Andien ushered her three little angels into the room, with Sanah in tow, preparing for their school needs. The kids played together while waiting for bedtime. "How about we talk on a park bench?" "Okay." They sat down together. Dirga held Andien's hand tightly, kissed the back of it, and they exchanged silent glances. "I've missed you," Dirga said softly, brushing her cheek. "Hmmm," Andien mumbled. Dirga quickly kissed Andien's lips. "Did you fulfill the promise to your father?" "Yes, I did. Soon, he'll be your father too." Andien chuckled as Dirga gently stroked her hair, locking her beautiful face in his eyes and memories. "Every week, we take turns riding alongside Papa on his horse. Irgi, Ari, Edo, and I." "I see. Is your father a skilled horseman?" "Yes, he is. Thank God, my parents are still healthy and strong." As they talked, Dirga occasionally kissed Andien's hand or stroked her cheek, met with a gentle stroke on Dirga's jaw by Andien. "It's clear that your love language is physical touch." "Why?" Dirga asked, noticing Andien lost in thought. "What?" "Why are you daydreaming again?" "I'm not, baby." "Are you sure? Is something bothering you?" Andien smiled and shook her head. "Nope. I was just thinking, ever since we met, your love language is really 'touching.'" "Touching?" "I mean, physical touch." "Does it make you uncomfortable?" Dirga asked, concerned. "I apologize; I didn't mean..." "It's okay, baby. Not in a way that makes me uncomfortable. I appreciate how you express your feelings—sitting close, holding hands, hugging, rubbing my head, and kissing," said Andien. "Are you okay with it?" Dirga asked again. "Yes, I am. That's your love language," Andien reassured. "So, what's your primary love language?" "Take a guess!" "Seems like it's quality time?" "Exactly!" Dirga beamed with joy. Simple conversations about their love languages could bring him immense happiness. As they chatted, the topics flowed until Andien's alarm went off at nine o'clock. It was time for Andien to prepare her children's necessities for the next day. "Is it getting late?" "Yes, I need to get the kids ready for tomorrow morning." "I'll leave then; it's not good for me to stay too long." "Okay, baby." "Don't stay up too late, my soon-to-be wife!" Andien laughed, enjoying Dirga’s meaningful words. "Ugh, you're laughing at me. I'm serious, baby." "Hmmm..." "My schedule is packed this week with meetings, client appointments, and project progress checks. I can't promise to visit often," Dirga explained after their lips parted. Understanding the impracticality of traveling between Jakarta and Bogor frequently, Andien reassured him, "It's okay! Oh, almost forgot, I have a lunch appointment tomorrow, Wednesday." "With whom?" "Oh, with my high school friend." "High school friend?" Dirga felt an odd sensation, raising an eyebrow in anticipation. "He was my ex in high school, baby. He was assigned to Berlin three months ago and returned. Since last week, I've been putting off meeting him, but I can't avoid it any longer," Andien explained. Dirga felt a twinge of discomfort. Anxious thoughts filled his mind. "Are you dating him again?" "No, baby! After my children's father passed away, I only had a relationship with you!" "Then just call him; you don't have to meet him!" "I can't respond to his offer over the phone. It's unethical, isn't it?" "Why is it unethical? Just tell him you're not interested." "I didn't ask for your permission, baby. Whatever it is, I must meet him. When he said he was leaving for Indonesia last week, I promised to meet him." Dirga wished to forbid it outright. Who would let their girlfriend meet another man? What if Andien's feelings changed after the meeting? They had only recently reconnected. Andien gently touched Dirga's jaw, kissing him on the cheek. "I'm not being inappropriate. I'll state my position clearly." "What did he ask?" Dirga asked, doubtful and worried. "He proposed marriage to me." "Oh, Andien! I don't want you to see him!" "So, you'd rather I continue to be bothered by him?" "Fine, then I'll accompany you!" "You don't have to, baby. Also, your schedule is full, and I don't want to disrupt your routine. I don't want him to think I turned him down because of you. Whether you're here or not, my response remains the same: I don't want to marry him." Dirga sighed, feeling irritated. He knew Andien wouldn't listen. Andien cupped Dirga's face, drawing him closer for a soft kiss. His anxiety seemed to vanish. "I love you," Dirga whispered. "I love you too!" Dirga was taken aback. "What did you just say?" "Say what?" "Can you tell me again?" "Say what? Go home. You'll be late for your flat." "Tell me first." "There's no rerun!" "You're being cruel, baby! You said you want to meet another guy, and now you won't say you love me!" "It's inappropriate for you to sulk like that, baby." "Fine, I'm going home!" Dirga abruptly got up from the chair. Andien stood up, holding Dirga's hand. "I love you too. It used to be the same way. Unfortunately, neither of us knew the other's feelings." Dirga froze at Andien's revelation. "When we're together, we'll never run out of topics to discuss. We have far too many stories to tell. Isn't that correct?" "Do I really have to go home?" Dirga tried again. Andien burst out laughing. "Go home, don't act like we'll never see each other again!" She pushed him towards his car. Dirga reluctantly complied, leaving the simple house. His mind was filled with unanswered questions as he drove away. *** Dirga felt restless after arriving at his apartment, contemplating the impending meeting between Andien and her high school ex. He had rushed that morning, falling asleep on the prayer rug after Fajr due to his restless night. By the time he reached his office at 07:59, Borne, his best friend and secretary, was already there finishing his breakfast. "What's for breakfast?" Dirga asked. "Good morning, boss! What's wrong with your face? You look terrible!" Borne noticed the dark circles under Dirga's eyes. "Shut up! And come into my office!" Borne entered Dirga's daily schedule on a tablet. Dirga sat at his desk, multitasking – turning on his computer, feeding on a tuna sandwich, and paying little attention, causing some filling to fall onto his desk. "Your slovenly behavior never changes!" Borne grumbled. "It's not intentional, bro!" "Eat first, then work. You're the CEO, not a worker!" Dirga complied, silently enjoying his sandwich as Borne read his schedule. "Bro, please tighten my schedule. On Wednesday, I'll be having lunch outside." "What are your plans?" "I'd like to stalk my girl!" "Are you sure you have a girlfriend?" "You're a jerk! Do you think no girl wants me?" "In fact, I thought you were done with girls?" Borne teased. "Damn you!" "Just consider it. It's unusual for a widower to play solo for more than five years!" "Sure, whatever! Just keep teasing me!" Dirga replied curtly and Borne burst out laughing. "Do you really have a girl?" Borne asked. Dirga nodded. "Yes, I'm dead serious! On Wednesday, I have to stalk her at lunch." Dirga sipped his coffee, and his thoughts returned to Andien. "She was proposed to, so she made an appointment with someone on Wednesday to respond to his proposal. I'm terrified!" "What? How did she become your girl while being proposed to by another guy?" "Perhaps it's just a personal request. I don't get it! I'm too lazy to inquire about it." "Who's your girl?" "My first love." "Andien? Wow! You finally found her?" "Yep! I found her when I wasn't looking for her, when I gave up on my destiny. God can't be kidding, right?" Dirga rubbed his face in frustration. "Let's continue this discussion over lunch. I need to look over our meeting agenda for this morning. There are only fifteen minutes left," Dirga said. "Certainly, Captain!" Dirga's morning was occupied with internal and client meetings until noon, keeping him too busy to dwell on negative thoughts about Andien and her ex. During lunch, Borne probed further into the story of Dirga's reunion with his first love. "That means Ian is quite deserving, bro. You both didn't inform me." "That's because I wasn't sure I'd ever see her again. Furthermore, it turns out that she knows me. I didn't think that far, bro... Ian said: There's no free lunch! He asked me to redesign his house for free! He wants a renovation." "Hahaha. He's clever!" "Yeah!" "Have you informed Andien about your situation?" "Not yet." "Why?" Borne inquired. "Is it really necessary? My future child is already three: a boy and two girls." "It is necessary. Are you committed to her? She must be aware of your situation, bro, including the reason for your divorce from your ex." "But she never asked me." "Just because she doesn't ask doesn't mean she doesn't need to know, Ga!" "Do you think so?" "Women make assumptions. Regardless of how logical the character is. So, she needs to know about your situation. Especially about Viona, your ex's behavior is horrifying! You really need to explain it to Andien. Because the world is so small, they might cross paths. You should avoid misunderstandings if possible. Explain it to Andien right away. If a girl misunderstands, it's more perplexing than when they're on their period! Creepy!" Dirga nodded weakly, pondering Borne's advice. 'Will Andien accept my situation?'