Chapter 3

JENNY I stared at the door of my daughter's room. I have never felt so nervous and scared in my life. It had been a long time since I had seen her. My wolf was howling. She wanted to be with her pup, but I knew how my daughter felt; it was clear when I met her father a few days ago. He told me she hated me. "I want pup," she whined, but I sighed, knowing exactly how she felt. I knew this was going to be hard, but this was awful. I wanted my mate, he wanted to come, but I thought it would be best for Leah and me to talk first. She knows nothing of our world or about him. My thoughts drifted back to the past, taking me through every decision I made which led me down this road. After eight years, I reached out to her father, telling him I wanted to see our girl. He didn't agree at first, but I asked him to meet. We got talking, and I soon realized that I was too late. Larry was a human who I fell in love with back in college. I moved from my pack to come here to go to college, the only werewolf at the time. I was a student at the local college, and not many people in my pack could get into a college, but I did and was the first in my family. My parents were so proud and still are. But at one party I met Larry and everything changed. I knew he wasn't my mate, and I knew it was wrong. Larry was someone who you would call a nerd back in the day. But he was so sweet and innocent, something I never saw, well not with the males in our pack. Larry and I were a couple all through college, and I fell in love with him. When college was over, I had to tell my parents, who weren't too thrilled but were okay with him once they met him. My parents came to visit and loved him as I did. The weekend they stayed, they told me to tell him about our kind, and I did after my parents left. Larry was shocked, but after many questions, he was okay with it. A few months later, we bought our own house and even got jobs at the local school. Everything was perfect, and two years later, I fell pregnant with Leah. My life felt complete. My wolf never mentioned anything about our mate; she was content with Larry and even loved him as much as I did. Everything went smoothly for five years, and we were the happiest family in the world. After Leah's fifth birthday, I received the sad news that my father had been attacked and was severely injured. My mum was a mess and wanted me to come home. My mum told me rogues went into the pack and killed many members, including the alpha. My mum wanted me home to help with my father. I knew I had to stay for a few weeks, but I had to leave Larry and Leah behind. My parents knew of my relationship with Larry from the start, but not about Leah. I lied to Larry that they knew of her. I was too scared about what they would say. Having a child with another person besides your mate was wrong, and I had one with a human. Larry offered to come with me, and we could leave Leah with our friend. I told him I didn't want him to witness all the gore. I was also scared for his safety. I felt lost, especially as it was the first time I was leaving Leah alone. I left that night. I drove away and looked behind to watch the man I loved holding our daughter's little hand in his. It broke me. When I got to the pack, I stayed with my father and helped to look after him. My father was okay, and my mum made a big fuss over nothing, but I was concerned about him too, so I stayed for a little while. It was the first time in a long time that I had ever heard of rogues attacking our pack. We were a strong pack, but a lot had changed over the years since I was gone. I had planned to leave after the alpha's funeral, but one fateful day, my mate showed up with his pack to pay their respects to the alpha family. My wolf was happy, but everything came at me like a hurricane. I was shocked. I had lost hope of finding him, but everything was a mess. I had to tell him about my life amongst the humans and the family I had. I was heartbroken and so confused. My mate made a big scene about us being mates. Everyone was thrilled, but I couldn't tell them how I felt. I spoke to my mate and learned that my mate was a warrior. After a few hours of talking, he left but told me he would stay with the pack to be with me. I was flattered, but I didn't say anything. Later that night, I left the pack without speaking to my family or mate. I drove home and began my life with my family. I knew I had to be there for my family, but it didn't take long before things changed drastically. First, it started with my wolf not wanting Larry to touch us; she would go nuts when he was around or even try to come near me. After two weeks of being home, I was always on edge, and arguments erupted between Larry and me. One fight was hurtful, and I blurted out that I had found my mate to Larry. He knew about werewolves and their mates, but I told him my wolf wanted our mate, not him. When he asked me what I wanted, I couldn't answer him. I watched as I crushed Larry's heart in two. He left me that night, taking Leah with him. During all this time, my parents were trying to get me to come back home. They kept telling me to leave Larry and that I should be with my mate, like the moon goddess wanted. The night Larry left and took Leah; my wolf wanted to return to her mate. She forgot about our pup. She wasn't even thinking about Leah, only about our mate. I stayed in the house, crying and worrying about them. Larry came home the next day with Leah. I wanted to wait for a week or two and decide about everything. But that was short-lived, when my mate showed up and demanded that I come back home with him. Larry was out with Leah at the time. Everything was strained between us. Larry never knew that my mate was here. I told my mate I would go with him, but I needed to sort some stuff out with my work and other things as I had a life here. I was in a pickle. The only person on my mind was Leah, who was only six, but I didn't want to leave my child, but it looked like I had no option. I remember walking into my job and telling them I had to leave, but my contract was invalid for a year. I had to finish the year off, or I would lose out on some money and would have legal terms thrown at me. I was relieved that I had a year and could figure out what I would do, so I decided to go back with my mate, but I told him I had to finish my year at work. He agreed and even took a job training other packs locally to be close to me. I was leading a double life for a year. I would stay with my mate for a few nights and be with my family for the rest. Larry grew distant over that year. I had stopped being intimate with him, as I knew my mate would suspect. I thought I was doing so well in keeping my mate and Larry hidden from each other until one day Larry came up to me in front of my mate and gave me documents to sign. My mate was shocked and even pissed. I had no idea what was happening. Larry told me that he had been following me and saw me with him. He knew what was going on. Larry thrust the documents into my hands and told me to sign them. I had never seen him so angry, but the hurt in his eyes was there too. I looked at the documents, and one was for Larry to take full custody of Leah. My heart broke, but I knew it was the right thing to do. After I signed everything over, Larry took the documents and left. I stayed with my mate and had to explain everything to him, but I didn't mention Leah as there was no point. She would be better off without me. That day I left. I knew Leah could be a werewolf, but she never showed signs of being one when she was young. As a loud bang from the corridor brought me back, I was brought back from my memories. I shook my head, trying to forget all the memories. I knew why Leah hated me; I wasn't there for her. I was a coward to be a mum or tell people about her. A few weeks ago, I took a big step and reached out to Larry. I had come a long way, as I was ill. I wanted to have contact with Leah. When I left, I was all about my mate. After two weeks, we mated and marked each other, and I had another two pups. I was happy, but I had Leah in the back of my mind, especially on her birthday. When one of the children did something, I wondered if Leah liked the same things they did or if she liked sports. When I arrived at the pack, my parents kept telling me I was doing the right thing. I knew they were in the dark about Leah, as I never told them. I was too ashamed to say to them that I had a child with a man who wasn't my mate. My parents grew up following the rules and expected me and my brother, Lucian, to do the same. I was a horrible person. My phone rang out, pulling me back again from my thoughts. I pulled it out of my pocket. Josh, my mate. I swiped it to answer and placed the phone to my ear. "Hey, love," he asked. "How is she?" I closed my eyes; I missed him and my other children. After a few years, I lost it and was mentally broke after rogues attacked the pack. It brought back everything; it felt like I was being put in the same position from when my father was injured. I often wondered if I hadn't come back to the pack, would I still have been with Larry and Leah? I was placed in the hospital and didn't speak to anyone, not even Josh. I remember after a few days in the hospital, everyone was trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and one evening when it was just Josh and me, I blurted out everything to him about Leah. He stared at me, never spoke, and left me alone to let it sink in that I had another man's child. I cried for hours. When he came back, he wanted to know everything. "Love, are you still there?" he asked as I closed my eyes, trying to forget the memory. My wolf stared back at me; I could feel her heartbreak. "She hates me," I whispered as I opened my eyes and turned to look back at the door. "Her father is dead, and she hates me." "Hunny," he said softly. "She needs time to mourn her father. Are you going to bring Leah back with you?" I didn't say anything, remembering the shouting from earlier. She would rather be with her friend than me. "I don't know," I said. "She has three weeks left in school; I might wait till then. I might have to get the social services involved." "Why?" he asked, sounding concerned. "You're her mum; she should be with you." "I know," I said defeated. "I left her, and I had no contact with her for eight years, Josh. I wasn't her mum. I give up all my rights, remember." Josh was quiet. I kept all the documents Larry gave me when he sent them; I left my address, and the only thing Larry sent me was the documents, no photos of Leah, nothing. I kept finding myself looking at the full custody agreement I had signed. I told Josh where to find everything when I was in the hospital. I remember him bringing them to me, and I showed him the document. Everything fell into place for him: how I was acting when I was with him and why I was so distant from the kids sometimes. I even told my parents, who hadn't spoken to me since. They were ashamed, even heartbroken, that I kept their granddaughter away from them but were also angry that I had another man’s child. "Get Lucian to come to you," Josh blurted out. "He is the best of the best. We can fight this, and she will have to come and live with us." I was grateful that Josh was willing to accept Leah into the family. I was, but she was human. I needed to protect her. "Ok," I said. The door opened to Leah's room, and I noticed the woman from earlier looking around till her eyes landed on me. I had to control my wolf in there; she wanted to rip the woman's head off for the way she spoke to us. She stared at me but walked over. "You need to leave," she said angrily. "You have no right being here. Where were you all these years?" I didn't have to answer her. "That's none of your concern," I muttered, turning my back on her. I knew Josh was still on the other end of the phone, as I still had it to my ear. I could hear a loud growl slip through it. "I don't care what excuse you have for Leah," she said, moving away. "You need to leave; she doesn't want you here." I stared at her. I knew she was right about that statement, but Leah was my daughter, and I needed to be here for her. I gritted my teeth. "Fine. I will leave, but this is not over." I turned on my heel and walked away. I could feel that woman's eyes on me as I left. "I will kill that human," growled my wolf, but I ignored her. "Hunny," Josh called out. "Are you okay?" I was angry but also saddened. The thought of Larry came to my mind. I missed him. I missed our chats, and everything. Josh was the one who suggested I get in contact with Larry. He met us halfway; he told Leah he was on a business trip. Larry told me he had moved on. I knew he lied, but I was happy that he had accepted my life. Josh and he talked and even decided what to do about Leah. "Hunny, are you there?" Josh said again. I stopped in my tracks and turned the corner. Determination set in my head, and I knew I had to fight for Leah, even if she hated me. "Tell Lucian to come here," I said, looking over my shoulder to see Leah’s door close. The woman must have gone back inside. "I'm going to need his help." "Ok," he said. We talked for a while longer as I walked out of the hospital. I walked toward the forest edge and glanced around. No humans knew about our kind, so I had to be careful. I needed to run and let go of all this anger. My wolf also needed to run, but I needed to be careful. I headed back to the motel; the owner was a wolf. He was surprised to see me here, but when I got the call about Larry and Leah being in a car accident and Larry had died, I knew I had to come and get her, or at least be there for her. I had so much to prove to Leah, and I needed to fight for her.