Chapter 5- Andrew

-Andrew- “Still didn’t shift?” Atticus asks as he flops on the bed behind me. I’ve been at my desk reading more books about magic. At this point, I think they’re all useless. “Do I look like I shifted?” I ask. My cousin shrugs. “How am I supposed to know? You look pissed off all the time.” “I do not,” I defend myself, finally closing the book. He laughs. “Yes. You do. Some girls think it’s hot.” I roll my eyes. “It doesn’t matter if anyone thinks it’s hot. I have a mate.” “Oh, I know,” Atticus says sarcastically. “At least your parents will let you f**k around if you want. I’m not allowed to even look at a shewolf.” “You’re only twelve. It doesn’t matter anyway,” I remind him. I don’t know why he cares so much that his dad insists his kids never touch anyone who isn’t their mate. I think Atti just doesn’t want to be told what to do. He sits up. “Think they’ll let me start training now?” “I don’t know what they’re going to do,” I sigh. I hate that they had to create a special training because I can’t control my magic. “You should want to go to real training.” “I’m the second-born. The pack isn’t coming to me. There’s no need for me to go to training at all.” “Katya’s a girl,” I remind him. He laughs. “I heard Mom and Dad talking one night. They know the pack will go to her. I think everyone acts like they think it could go to me to pretend we’re normal.” “You are normal,” I mutter. Atticus is lucky. He doesn’t live in the palace. He’s not the heir to the throne. He gets to do whatever he wants to. “Nothing about my family is ‘normal,’” he bites. “My mom is an alpha. I’ve heard her call dad ‘Luna Calvin.’ And he smiles, like he likes it! The two of them are disgusting.” I nearly laugh out loud. I don’t think Ada and Calvin are disgusting. I recognize that I know more about s*x than the average kid my age. I’ve accidentally seen too many memories, like CeCe’s today. I didn’t want to see a memory of my Papa David kissing her stomach while they were naked in bed. I shudder. It was so gross. Adults do weird stuff, like, with their mouths ­– even when they’re old. No one wants to tell me what happened to Aunt Ada, but there have been enough hints, and after Uncle Calvin showed me that memory… I get it. I don’t like that I get it. I really didn’t realize until a few months ago, when I was helping Dad in his office, that sometimes men force shewolves to do stuff. It’s gross. It shouldn’t happen. But apparently, it did happen to my aunt. I know that Katya has a different dad, but no one ever talks about who he is. Was it who hurt Ada? Uncle Calvin adopted Katya when he met Ada, just like CeCe and her first mate adopted my mom. My mom was older than Katya was, and isn’t really related to either of them, like how Ada’s mom is her real mom. That’s how I got so many grandparents because Pops, Mom’s biological dad, came back around when she was marked. Pop’s mate is Aunt Ada’s mom. Somehow, none of this is incest… but it’s f*****g weird. All I know is that everyone who is a direct descendant of Pops has his green eyes- all of us. I’m pretty sure we’ll all have grey wolves with a white paw, too, because Pops, Mom, Uncle Calvin, and my twin sister Cora’s wolves all look the same. There’s a knock at the door, and Mom sticks her head in. “Hey, Atti. Can I have a moment with Andrew?” “Sure,” he says, standing up and getting out quickly. Mom comes in and closes the door behind her. That’s never a good sign. Mom rarely does it, though Dad does when I’m in big trouble or there’s royal business for me to learn. “Your dad told me about what you said,” she tells me, her voice soft. I sigh. I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t mean to upset Mom, and I didn’t mean to upset Ada, either. “I’m sorry,” I say, my head hanging in shame. Mom crawls onto my bed, patting the spot beside her for me to join. I do, sitting right beside her as we both lean back against the headboard. She lays her head over onto my arm, her curly hair hitting the side of my face. “I’m not afraid of my magic, Andrew,” she tells me. “I am afraid of yours, though. It’s something that I’ve never wanted to say.” I frown. I know it’s explosive and I can’t control it, but I’d never hurt her. “What’s wrong with my magic?” “Magic develops differently for men. I don’t know how to help you, and I don’t know any men who have magic,” she sighs. Mom lifts her head and sits up, turning to look at me. “My dad died when you were a toddler. You could barely walk, and Mom was holding you. You reached out and took my hand, letting me hear her thoughts.” Mom smiles at me, taking my hands in hers. “We needed to know what she was thinking, and you knew that. We thought all the magic was coming from Cora. I had no idea it was YOU. You’ve always been strong, Andrew.” I try to pull my hands away, but she doesn’t let me. “I don’t want to accidentally see something.” “You need to learn to pull yourself out of people’s memories,” she says, her eyes welling with tears. “You can hear their thoughts and see their memories, and it’s such a gift, but I know it feels like a curse.” “You have no idea,” I say, feeling a little choked. “Your dad said you can’t find where your wolf and your magic separate,” she says, and I nod. “I want you to try to look at mine. I WANT you to see in my mind.” I close my eyes, letting Mom pull me into her mind. I’m so unsure about this, but it’s forgotten once I see the meadow in the rogue land. It’s one of Mom’s favorite places. Sage, her wolf, is sitting by a little stream. “Andrew, come pet me,” Sage tells me. “Go on,” Mom encourages. I walk across the thick grass and lean down, petting Sage’s fur. As soon as I touch her, Sage pulls me into her own mind. I see what Mom is saying, but I’m confused. “Your magic is in your wolf?” I ask. I can’t see Mom, but I can hear her. “My wolf has magic. Sage can cast spells. Cora’s magic is not tied to her wolf, but from what you told your father, I think Valerian may be magic.” I look at the glowing gold strands as they move about in an orderly fashion. “This is kind of like what my magic looks like, but mine is more chaotic.” “I knew it,” Mom says, a laugh in her voice. “I’ve long suspected it, but when your dad told me, I was sure. I don’t know that I can help you develop your magic, but I know about sorting your magic inside your wolf.” “What do I do?” I ask, suddenly feeling desperate. “I think you need to get to know your wolf better,” Mom tells me. “Take your hand off of Sage. Come out of here.” I do as instructed, blinking at her a few times once I’m no longer in her mind. “Do… do you want to see my magic?” Mom smiles at me, the way moms do when their kids win awards. “I’d love to. I didn’t realize you knew how to take me into your magic like that.” I shrug. “I think I can. I can try.” I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths, searching for the place my wolf is. I find Valerian, but the scene has changed. Instead of the rock in the woods, I now find myself standing just outside the wolfsbane grove. “Really, Andrew? Your place is filled with poison?” Mom laughs. I smile, just glad that this worked at all. “It changed. It wasn’t like this before.” “You’re growing into a man. You’re finding what does and does not work for you. Valerian is here, and that is good.” As if on cue, my wolf comes toward us. His aura rages, the magic swirling around him. While Mom’s magic appears gold, mine is a shimmery green color. And unlike Mom, she doesn’t have to touch my wolf. The strands of magic are all around us. Mom’s hand reaches out, gently touching one of them. “I didn’t know they came in other colors,” she says softly. “I’ve never seen someone else’s magic like this. Thank you for showing me.” I want to say thanks for coming, but that seems so lame. “It’s no big deal.” I release her hands, and we both suddenly return to our places on the bed. We both blink, but Mom seems to settle more quickly than I do. “It is a big deal,” she tells me. “Your magic is so beautiful, Andrew.” “Yours was very organized,” I point out. “Is that what I need to learn?” Mom shrugs. “I have no clue, kid. But we can try to find out together. I want to do something good with your magic this time.”