Zayde's Point of View
My father left my office a while ago. I am going through some emails, answering those that are urgent, but even though I am busy with work, she is still on my mind. I have had to force myself to stop thinking about her and to focus on my work more than once.
As I think that, my thoughts start to wonder again and, before I know it, I have already stopped working, and I find myself just staring out of my office window, thinking about her. I sigh and run a hand down my face.
I turn back to my computer, forcing myself to focus, but before I can start my phone dings on my desk and I reach out, checking the name on the screen. My heart skips a beat as I see her name. I click on the notification and her message pops up.
"I have been thinking about what you said, and to be honest with you, I don’t care about fate. I choose you. I will always choose you, and I’m not walking away unless you tell me you truly feel nothing for me. But if there's even a little spark… I’m not giving up on us."
Her message is short, direct, and it makes my heart leap with joy. Joy that doesn't last long before my negative side kills it.
She isn't yours... Don't make this harder than it has to be... It whispers and my wolf growls.
'She is ours...'
I sigh and shake my head, leaning back in my chair, staring out of the window again.
'We have talked about this. We don't know that for sure. Not yet. Nothing would make me happier than her turning out to be ours, but if she's not, and we still get involved with her, what would you do if our fated mate showed up? Would you want her or Chloe? What if her mate shows up, and she decides she wants to be with him instead?
I ask him and he doesn't answer immediately.
'Exactly, I know we love Chloe, but until we know for certain that she is ours, I am not pursuing her. I don't want anyone to get hurt, especially her.'
Again, he doesn't answer, he just retreats back into my mind and I sigh again, running a hand down my face.
"What are you sighing about so intensely? Isn't it a bit early to be this down?"
A voice suddenly asks from the door, pulling me from my thoughts and my gaze snaps from the window to the door.
A big smile spreads over my face and I stand making my way to the door to hug my mother.
"Morning, momma. Sorry, I didn't even hear you coming. What brings you to my office?"
I ask as I help her just down on the couch.
She huffs a little as she sits down before she looks up at me with a big smile, her hands resting on her very pregnant stomach.
"Oh, I just missed my baby. I haven't seen you in a while."
She pouts and I give her a small smile.
"I know, I'm sorry I've been pretty busy."
She gives me a knowing smile and nods her head.
"I know, baby. So, are you going to answer me? What has gotten you so down this early in the morning that you are sighing as if you are carrying the whole world?"
I stare at her for a minute before I sigh and go grab my phone, handing it over to her. My mother is the only other person, other than Jason, that I have actually confided in about my true feelings towards Chloe.
She has always been optimistic that we'd end up together, and always encourages me to keep an open mind, even if I have explained my reasons for not pursuing her.
She quickly reads the message before handing my phone back. She sighs, rubbing her bump.
"Zayde, this is a good thing. She wants to be with you too. This just shows you how determined she is to make it work. I still don't understand why you are so reluctant. You could turn out to be mates, and even if you are not..."
"I've just had this same discussion with my wolf again. We've been through this. We don't know for certain that we are fated mates. What if we are not mates and one of our mates shows up? What do we do then? Choose each other? Or them? Either way, someone is going to end up hurt and I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt her."
I interject, cutting her off as I shake my head.
"I know, but it isn't to say anyone would get hurt. If you love her, you should fight for her. Even if you are not fated mates, chosen mates are just as important, we can love them just as much, and she said she would choose you, no matter what."
"Yeah, well, I have no way to know for certain that she'd choose me when her mate shows up. You and dad were fated mates and look what happened to you. He didn't choose you right away."
I snap at her feeling a bit irritated, as everyone keeps pushing me to just pursue her, while full well knowing how I feel about it.
My mother's smile falters a little and I see hurt flash across her face and I immediately feel like an asshole. I know she is just trying to help. But before I can say anything, her smile is back in place, and she gives me a small nod.
"That is true... But I wish you wouldn't let what happened to us in the past dictate your future... I just want you to be happy."
I sit down next to her, put my arm around her shoulder and pull her to my side, giving her a hug.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you... I'm just so tired of this conversation. If trying to convince everyone that it is better to wait... I know how I feel... I'm certain I'll be able to let my mate go for Chloe, but getting involved with her before we know for certain means I will ultimately force her to choose between me and her mate. And I don't want her to feel obligated to choose me. That way she'll only end up resenting me in the end."
My mother pulls back and cups my jaw.
"It's your life, baby. If you think this is what is right for you, then I will support your decision. I just don't want you to let your chance at happiness slip through your fingers and waste as much time as your father and I did."
She hesitates for a second before speaking again.
"I'm not interfering, I just want to suggest something. Sit her down and explain it to her. Don't just push her away. Just something to think about, okay?"
I nod my head.
"I will."
She nods back, smiling at me.
"Good. Now, I have said my piece, so enough about that. I came here for a reason. I want to invite you over for dinner tonight. I'm making your favorite, lasagna."
She says, changing the subject and I smile at her thankfully before nodding my head.
"That sounds great momma, thank you. I'll be there"
She smiles at me again and tries to stand on her own, I try to grab onto her and help her up, but she swats my hands away.
"I'm fine. I can stand on my own."
She tries again, without success, and sighs as she looks up at me before holding out her arm.
"I can't wait to have this baby out of me."
She mumbles and I chuckle, shaking my head as I quickly help her stand.
"That's what you get for not keeping your hands off of dad. I've told you years ago too much kissing leads to having babies. You didn't listen."
I tease, and she smacks my chest playfully, clacking her tongue at me.
"Zayde."
She pretends to scold, a smile on her face as she shakes her head and makes her way over to the door.
"Be there at seven, and please, where something appropriate. No sweaty training clothes."
"Yes, mam. I'll dress appropriately. Do you need my help down the stairs? Or do you think you'll make it on your own?"
I ask, genuinely concerned that she might fall, but she glares at me.
"I'm not an invalid. I might need help standing up sometimes, but I can walk and climb the stairs fine. I did it with you and Maya. I can do it with this one as well. Besides, Damien is there if I need any help."
She says, pointing to the door and I see him peaking around it, nodding at me. I nod back at him in greeting, a small smile on my face.
"Of course, mom. I was just trying to be helpful, dad said..."
"I know... But I'm good, and don't you tell your father on me. He is driving me crazy already."
She cuts me off impatiently. I hide my smirk, nodding my head again.
"Yes, mam."
She smiles at me and blows me a kiss.
"Good. Now, get back to work. I'll see you tonight."
She says before quickly pulling the door shut behind her.
A smile still plays on my lips as I stare at the door before making my way back to my chair. As always, my interaction with my mother eased some of my tension, allowing me to focus. I sit down and pull a file closer, flipping it open. Determined to get some work done.
Aksara