YOLANDA
“Let go of me,” I helplessly beg him, crying while I am in his arms with him between my legs.
“Who is he, Yolanda? I want to let you go, but I just can’t. Letting you go means letting you run to Him – whoever he is. I hope it is not that boy who dumped you in front of your schoolmates,”
“There is no boy!” I cry out.
“DON’T LIE TO ME!”
“I am not!”
He throws me on the bed and looks down at me, evilly. I am panting and very scared. How could Kyle be so reckless and not even tell me about the mark on my neck? I told him about my father, and he told me that he would never intentionally get me into trouble, now look at what is happening; my stepfather is wild and uncontrollable.
“Yolanda, you do not belong to anyone other than me, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” He steadily and calmly “threatens” me, but I am willing to take the risk.
“NO!” I scream.
“Are you challenging me, baby girl?”
“Dad, stop! I am your stepdaughter, and this is wrong!”
“Wrong? Let me tell you what is wrong, Yolanda. Sneaking behind your stepfather, staring at your stepfather working out, staring at your stepfather sleeping, and disobeying me is wrong!”
I gasp, astonished by his statement. He noticed, and I thought I was past that, yet he noticed and decided to tell me about it today! I feel so embarrassed about it.
“It is not what you think, I promise,”
“What am I thinking?” He tilts his head and charges towards me. “That my stepdaughter has a crush on me? Is that what you think I am thinking? Do you have a crush on me, little girl?”
I look down, abashed. He gets on the bed and cups my face before he lifts it for me to look at him, but I close my eyes, my body shaking.
“I am watching you, baby girl. Better stay away from boys because I hate it… daddy hates it!”
I nod my head continuously, refusing to open my eyes.
“Open your eyes,”
“No,” I whisper in a shaky voice.
“It was not a request, Yolanda, it is an order and I expect you to obey it,” His hand squeezes my jaw, and I panic, quickly opening my eyes. If I am not traumatised after this, then I don’t know what is wrong with me.
“What about mom?” I utter without thinking.
“We don’t talk about mom,” He sternly says in a tone that warns me not to ever mention her.
“You are disrespecting her. She wouldn’t like this!”
“Dad, we are home!” Anele shouts from downstairs, but he is not moved. We are staring too deep into each other’s eyes and I am tongue twisted.
“Be a good girl for daddy.” With that said, he gets off the bed and leaves. I run towards the door to lock it before I rush back to the bed and get inside, covering my body up to my head, and bawling my eyes out.
This was not supposed to happen. I am confused and scared right now. I am tempted to call Kyle and tell him about this, but Kyle also showed me a different side of him, like, I don’t know how he will react, but I know that he is going to be angry. I guess I will console and cry myself to sleep. I have no one to talk to about this; not even my best friend, Sindi. I guess I have only myself.
“Mommy, why did you leave me alone?” I weep, damping my pillow with my tears.
***
Thank God I have two days off before I write my last exam. I didn’t feel like waking up early because I am not really okay, especially after what happened last night. I don’t even want to face my stepdad… I am scared, and I hate that I can’t tell Kyle about this. It is just hard to even think about my stepdad making moves on me. Am I patient enough to live here until I finish writing my last paper? No, but I can try. But where am I going to go when I leave? I have secured my space at the university, and I can only move into the residence next year. What am I going to do during this summer and festive holidays? Maybe I should go to my drunkard dad’s place, and even so; my real dad would never do something absurd as my stepfather.
I jump out of bed and open the curtains to get in some light. Damn, I miss my bedroom downstairs, but I can survive this one for a few more weeks.
I clean it up and make my bed tidy before I take my toiletries to take my morning bath. It is past eight already, so everyone should be gone. Thank God I did not have to see my stepdad’s face, and I will continue avoiding him as much as I can.
As I was about to unlock the door, I find that it is already unlocked. I sigh as I remember that my dad has all the spare keys to this house and even when my mother was still alive; we were not allowed to lock our bedroom doors, or this would happen. Anyway, I head out of the room and head straight to the bathroom to take a shower. As soon as I am done, I dry my wet body with a dry towel and take another towel to wrap around my body. I slip on my slides and head downstairs to make myself a cup of coffee.
“Good morning, Ms. El,” I greet our helper who is having her morning tea.
“Oh, hello, sweetie. Were you not writing today?”
“Nope; my final paper is on Friday, so I have two days off,”
“Very well. All the best,”
I don’t actually need luck, but I will accept it for future times.
“Thank you,”
“I am going to start ironing the laundry. Would you like anything before I go?” She asks, getting up.
“No thanks. I will manage,”
“Alright, good.” She puts the cup in the sink before she heads to the laundry room.
I get on my toes to take out a mug in the kitchen cabinet, but I almost drop it when I hear my father’s voice. My heart starts to pound so fast, and my palms start to sweat. I am afraid to turn around, but I can hear him moving around, probably talking on the phone. I thought he would be at work; why is he home!?
“The merch is arriving at noon. Capo, gather a team, get to the N1 route to get the merch and bring it to the warehouse. Whatever you do, don’t lose it,” He says to whoever he is talking to.
I boil the water in the kettle and pour all the dry ingredients into the mug. I impatiently wait for the water to boil so that I can get out of her, but my stepdad gets to as soon as he ends the call, and I can hear him so close to me behind me.
I clear my throat and move to the side.
“Uhm, good morning,” I say in a low tone without looking at him.
“It would be a very good morning if you looked up at me and said it,” Without a warning, he picks me up and places me on the kitchen counter. I yelp, holding the towel tight so that it does not fall. “Now, say it, looking into my eyes,”
“Good morning,” I hastily say to get over and done with.
“Nicer,” He firmly orders.
“Good morning, daddy,” I say, a little slower.
“That’s my girl,” His eyes run up and down my body, slowly. I am getting more uncomfortable every second, and as I hear the kettle clicking, I just want to jump off the counter and make my coffee.
“This is not something you should wear when I am around,”
“I didn’t know that you were home,” I roll my eyes. He chuckles and brings me down from the counter.
“Of course. I would love to stay and watch you, but I have to go now. I hope that you don’t do what I wouldn’t like because you won’t like the consequences,” He walks out of the kitchen, and I finally let out a breath I did not know I was holding, and my tears drop out of my eyes.
I do not feel like coffee anymore, so I run back to my room and lock myself in. I take my phone and decide to call Kyle. I just want to be with him.
His phone is off. I sadly drop myself on the bed and silently cry. I realise that I have a couple of messages and a few missed calls from him, so I check the messages, and they are all saying an apology.
‘Hi, babe. Why won’t you answer my calls?’
‘Okay, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you to my expectations.’
‘Just tell me what I did wrong. I am sorry if I am being too much.’
‘I thought we both had a great day together, but I am sorry if I read wrong.’ – Kyle.
Kyle thinks that he is the problem here. He is definitely going to ask me what the problem is. I don’t know how I am going to ask him, but I won’t tell him the truth. It is so embarrassing. What if Kyle decides to leave me? I have something beautiful with Kyle, and I do not want to lose him. He makes me happy, and I will not let my stepdad ruin us.
Aksara