Alina stared at the ceiling, her heart racing like she'd just run a marathon. 2:15 AM and she was still wide awake, James's harsh words playing on repeat in her head.
"You used to live differently."
God, the way he'd said it. So cold. So... knowing. Like he could see right through every lie she'd ever told herself.
She groaned and threw her blanket off, padding over to her closet. There, on the top shelf, sat that stupid cardboard box she'd been avoiding for two whole years. Her college stuff. All the memories she'd shoved away and pretended didn't exist.
Her hands were literally shaking as she pulled it down. The second she opened it, she was hit with this wave of nostalgia—old perfume, dusty paper, and all those feelings she'd buried deep.
Photos. Letters. Campus stuff that used to mean everything to her.
Right on top was this light blue photo album with "ITB Memories" scrawled across the front in her old handwriting. She picked it up like it might bite her.
Page after page of her old life stared back at her. God, she looked so... confident back then. So sure of herself. So freaking arrogant. There she was with her friends at every party, every café, every event. Always the center of attention. Always the queen bee.
Then she saw it.
Her heart literally stopped.
In the corner of one group photo, there he was. Messy hair, those thick black glasses, a shirt that was way too big for him. And that smile—innocent, genuine, totally clueless about what was coming.
Leon.
"Oh my God," she whispered, her voice cracking. "Leon..."
He looked so young. So sweet. Nothing like the cold, powerful man who was now her boss. Back then, his eyes behind those dorky glasses were full of kindness. No trace of the calculating look that made her stomach twist now.
The memories hit her like a truck.
---
Five years ago...
The hallway was packed after Professor Hartono's class. Alina strutted down the corridor with her usual crew—Sarah, Dinda, Rico, and the rest of her popular squad. They were all laughing about something, probably planning their next expensive hangout.
"Al, you're still coming to that new place in Dago tonight, right?" Sarah asked, fixing her designer bag.
"Duh," Alina shot back with that trademark smirk. "But you guys are paying. I'm feeling like a princess today."
More laughter. That was just how it was—Alina got spoiled, and everyone was happy to do it. Rich kids with zero money problems, living their best lives.
"Oh God, Al," Dinda nudged her. "Look. Leon's coming over here. He looks like he's about to throw up."
Alina turned and sure enough, there was Leon walking toward them like he was heading to his execution. His face was bright red and he was hiding something behind his back.
"Ugh, what does that nerd want now?" Alina rolled her eyes. "Can't he see I'm busy?"
Her friends were already giggling, practically bouncing with excitement. They could smell drama from a mile away.
Leon stopped a few feet away from them, taking this huge shaky breath. "A-Alina..." His voice was barely above a whisper. "Could I... talk to you? Just for a second?"
The entire hallway went dead quiet. Like someone had hit the mute button. Everyone stopped walking, stopped talking, stopped breathing. All eyes were on them.*l
"Leon's actually doing it..."
"No way, he's really confessing to Alina..."
"This is gonna be brutal..."
Alina felt every single person staring at her. Her reputation was on the line here. She couldn't let some random nerd make her look... ordinary. Like she was just any girl who could be approached by anyone.
"Just say whatever you want from there," she said, ice dripping from every word. "I don't have all day."
Leon's face somehow got even redder. Slowly, like he was in physical pain, he brought out what he'd been hiding—a small bunch of white roses that were already starting to wilt, and this white envelope that looked like it had been crumpled up and smoothed out a hundred times.
"I... I wanted to give you this..." His hands were shaking so bad the flowers were trembling. "I've been wanting to tell you for so long that I..."
He couldn't even finish. Sweat was literally dripping down his face.
The whole hallway held its breath.
---
Alina slammed the photo album shut so hard it made a sound like a gunshot.
"No," she said out loud, her voice shaky. "I can't. I won't remember this."
But it was too late. The dam had broken. Five years of buried guilt came flooding back all at once. Leon's hopeful eyes. Those sad, wilted roses. The love letter he'd probably rewritten a dozen times. All of it was crystal clear now, and it hurt like hell.
She stumbled to her bedroom window, pressing her face against the cool glass. Jakarta's lights sparkled below her, but they couldn't chase away the darkness in her chest.
"If I had known..." she whispered to her reflection. "If I had known that shy boy would become the man who controls my entire life now."
But regrets don't change anything. Especially not ones that are five years too late.
Now that same nerdy kid was sitting in a CEO chair, holding her career—her whole future—in his hands. And she was pretty sure he remembered every single cruel thing she'd ever done to him.
She closed her eyes, trying to push away the image of Leon's face that day. The way his eyes had filled with tears. But the harder she tried to forget, the clearer it became.
And the worst part? She was starting to remember all the little things she'd ignored back then. How Leon always found excuses to be near her. How his face would light up whenever she accidentally looked his way in class. How he'd pick seats where he could see her without being obvious about it.
He had really loved her. Like, genuinely, completely loved her.
And she had destroyed that love in the most brutal way possible.
"I'm sorry," she breathed into the empty night. "God, Leon, I'm so sorry."
But sorry doesn't fix anything. Not after five years. Not when the quiet, gentle boy named Leon had transformed into James Leonhart—a man who didn't want her apologies.
What he wanted was payback.
And deep down, Alina knew she was going to pay for every mean comment, every cruel laugh, every time she'd looked at him like he was nothing.
One painful piece at a time.
And honestly? She probably deserved every bit of it.
Aksara