The memories hit Alina like a freight train. She couldn't stop them anymore—they came flooding back with crystal-clear detail, making her stomach twist into knots. She collapsed onto the floor, the photo album falling open across her lap, Leon's sweet, innocent face staring back at her from that old class picture.
And then the worst memory of all started playing in her head like a nightmare she couldn't wake up from...
---
Five years ago. ITB campus hallway. Leon stood there looking like he might throw up, clutching white roses and a handwritten love letter. His hands were literally shaking.
Alina just stared at him. Her expression was completely blank, which somehow made it worse. Her friends were right behind her, practically bouncing with excitement like they were about to watch the best drama of their lives. The entire hallway went dead silent—you could hear a pin drop.
"You?" Alina's voice was flat, but there was something sharp underneath it. "You have feelings for me?"
Leon nodded so hard his glasses almost fell off. His face was turning bright red. "Y-yeah... Alina, I've been crushing on you for forever..."
But he never got to finish that sentence.
Alina burst out laughing. Not cute giggling—harsh, cruel laughter that echoed down the entire corridor like a slap to the face.
"AHAHAHAHA!" She was laughing so loud that students started poking their heads out of classrooms to see what was going on. "Leon, oh my God, Leon... are you being serious right now?"
All the color drained from Leon's face. The flowers in his hands started trembling worse than his voice.
"You?" Alina kept going, her tone getting meaner by the second. "You think you have a shot with me? Leon, honey, maybe you should look in a mirror before you even think about asking me out."
She stepped closer, and her eyes traveled up and down his body like she was examining something disgusting. Everyone watching felt embarrassed just witnessing it.
"Those thick-ass glasses that make your eyes look like a fish," Alina pointed right at his face. "That raggedy shirt that looks like you've been wearing it since middle school. Those beat-up sneakers that are literally falling apart."
Every single word was like a knife. Leon just stood there frozen, like he couldn't believe this was really happening.
"And most importantly," Alina raised her voice so everyone could hear her perfectly. "Do you have any idea who I am?"
She spun around to face the growing crowd of students. "I'm Alina Sari! I'm the most popular girl on this entire campus! I have standards, and my standards are through the roof!"
People started clapping and laughing. Alina felt like she was on top of the world.
"You?" She whipped back around to face Leon. "You're not even good enough to be my friend, let alone my boyfriend. You think you could ever be boyfriend material? Please!"
The roses started slipping from Leon's hands, falling to the floor one by one. White petals scattered across the tiles like broken dreams.
"Just look around," Alina gestured to all the students watching and laughing. "Everyone's cracking up! You know why? Because the idea of you asking me out is absolutely ridiculous!"
And she was right—the whole hallway was filled with cruel laughter. Mean comments, nasty whispers, people pointing and staring. Leon was standing alone in the middle of it all, completely humiliated.
"You're the kind of guy who's only good for..." Alina paused, searching for the most brutal thing she could say. "Tutoring sessions. Maybe driving people around. But dating? Dating someone like me?" She laughed again. "In your wildest dreams, Leon!"
The love letter slipped from Leon's fingers and hit the ground. Students walking by stepped all over it without even looking.
"Oh, and one more thing," Alina moved even closer, lowering her voice to a whisper that was still loud enough for everyone nearby to hear. "Don't you EVER come near me again. Being seen with you is literally embarrassing. A girl like me being approached by..." She looked him up and down again with pure disgust. "By someone like you."
The worst part was the look on Leon's face. He wasn't just hurt or disappointed. He looked completely destroyed.
Behind those thick glasses, his eyes were filling up with tears, but he didn't cry. He didn't yell back. He didn't defend himself.
He just stood there, all alone, surrounded by people who were laughing at him.
Then, moving like he was in slow motion, Leon bent down and started picking up the rose petals. The love letter that was now dirty and torn. Every single piece.
Nobody helped him. Everyone just watched—some still laughing, others starting to feel weird about how brutal this was getting.
Leon gathered everything—the ruined flowers, the destroyed letter, and whatever was left of his courage. Then he stood up and looked directly at Alina one last time.
Their eyes met.
What Alina saw in Leon's gaze made her stomach drop. It wasn't anger or hate. It was disappointment so deep it seemed to go all the way to his soul.
"I'm sorry," Leon whispered, so quietly she could barely hear him. "Sorry for bothering you."
Then he walked away. Slow steps down the corridor, leaving behind all the laughter and humiliation that would probably haunt him forever.
"Good! Don't come back!" Alina shouted at his back as he disappeared around the corner.
But as soon as Leon was gone, Alina felt something weird happen in her chest. Like something hollow had opened up inside her. Something she couldn't explain.
"Come on, don't worry about it," Sarah patted her shoulder. "Let's get out of here. Show's over."
And they left. The hallway slowly went back to normal, leaving behind those scattered rose petals on the floor—the only proof that someone's heart had just been completely shattered.
---
Alina buried her face in her hands, her whole body shaking. The memory felt so real she could practically smell the hallway, hear that awful laughter she'd started, see Leon's broken expression all over again.
"Oh my God," she sobbed in the darkness of her room. "What did I do..."
For five whole years, she'd told herself she was justified. Leon had no business asking her out in the first place. She had every right to reject anyone. She had standards, right?
But now, looking back with adult eyes, Alina finally saw the horrible truth: she hadn't just rejected Leon. She had absolutely destroyed him.
She hadn't just said "no"—she'd humiliated him in front of everyone, made fun of how he looked, crushed his feelings, and turned him into a joke for the entire campus.
And the worst part? She had loved every second of it. She'd gotten high off the power, the feeling of being the popular girl who could destroy anyone who dared approach her.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered to Leon's photo still open in her lap. "I'm so, so sorry, Leon. I didn't know... I didn't understand..."
But saying sorry to a picture wouldn't fix anything. The damage was already done. Leon—who was now James—had turned into this cold, ruthless man. A man who would never forgive what happened five years ago.
Alina looked at Leon's innocent face in the photo one more time, then slowly closed the album.
Now she finally got it. Why James was so cold to her. Why every word out of his mouth felt like a blade. Why every look was calculated and full of revenge.
Because she deserved every bit of it.
She deserved to know what it felt like to be insulted, put down, and treated like garbage.
But understanding why didn't make the pain any less. If anything, it made everything hurt worse, because now she knew—whatever game James was playing had barely even started.
And she had no clue how far he'd push her before she was completely broken, just like she'd once shattered an innocent guy named Leon.
The night got darker, but Alina couldn't sleep. She kept her eyes closed, but sleep wouldn't come.
All she could see was Leon's tear-filled eyes and hear his barely audible whisper: "I'm sorry. Sorry for bothering you."
Now, five years later, Alina was the one who was sorry.
But it was way too late.
Aksara